Test description

Love Banner: Love is a Beautiful Soing Inside a Golden Heart - Awakening Alchemy

Today we will talk about the most important word in the English language – LOVE!

Throughout time love has been the most talked about, written about, music inspiring and misunderstood word. When we talk about love we are speaking of so much more than the common perception of love for your partner, your family or your favourite things. Love is an all-pervasive dynamic that impacts on everything we do, think and say, every single day.

The Word LOVE in flames - Awakening Alchemy There is a reason why love has always been at the centre of all great religions and faiths. Simply put, love is the ultimate power in the Universe. Everything good, joyful and wonderful in this world, and in our lives, is brought about by love. Everything negative, sad and destructive in the world and in our lives, is brought about simply; by a lack of love, lack of compassion and compounded by fear. The key to success and happiness is to “FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE”. Yes, love is an emotion, and probably the most powerful of all emotions, but it is so much more than that – it is a force, a power that drives our very existence. If it were not for love, we would not even exist. It was the poet Robert Browning who said; “Take away love and our earth is a tomb”. If the force of love were to disappear from the earth tomorrow, humanity would dwindle and eventually die out.

If it was not for love…

Everything we as human beings take for granted today was originally thought of, designed and created by people who loved what they were doing. If it were not for the Wright brothers’ love of the idea of flight, we would not have discovered how to take off, fly and soar. If it were not for people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs who had a burning love and passion to create the personal computer, we would not have the wonderful variety of technological gadgets that allow us to communicate and save us time and effort every day. That said I’m way more pro, face-to-face communication that I am about sending emoticon messages! Without exception, everyone who has achieved great success in life has achieved it through love or passion. By doing what they love, what they believe in and what drives them to get up every morning, they have harnessed the power of love to achieve greatness and success.

Picture of Steve Jobs detailing his chequered history - Awakening Alchemy What allows these exceptional achievers to reach the heights that they reach is exactly the same thing that resides in each and every one of us. We are complete – there is nothing missing in us or in our makeup. We all have, inside of us, the tools and abilities to achieve anything we desire and indeed to share our gifts and be of service and assistance to others. The key to success is in understanding and harnessing the greatest power in the Universe – Love!

If, as we have discussed previously, our ultimate goal in life is merely the simple one of being happy, then love plays a vital role in achieving that happiness. None of us actually wants to do the things we do not love – that would be silly, yet there are tasks of course that cannot be avoided, escaped or delegated – let’s just keep these things proportionate though. We all want to spend our lives doing what sets our hearts on fire. We all want to wake every morning bursting to get out of bed and start our day, filled with enthusiasm and excitement for the challenges and rewards that the new day holds. For most of us though this seems just a pipe-dream. We feel locked into lives that we cannot change; we feel we have responsibilities that we just cannot shirk; and we are deathly afraid to take a chance on something new – to take a chance on life.

I can think of nothing sadder, in life, than to be sitting back at the end of our days looking back over our journey and saying; “if only”. The late Dr Wayne W. Dyer said:

“Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice, and don’t get to the end of your life and say; what if my whole life has been wrong?” 

We owe it to ourselves to not allow that to happen. YOU deserve the very best – I know I keep repeating this, but that’s because it’s important. YOU really are the best. Nobody that has ever lived or will ever live has your unique mix of talents, skills, personality, looks and viewpoint. YOU ARE AWESOME! Once you accept and understand just how incredible you, individually, are as a person, you are well on the way to achieving the happiness we all seek.

Woman Jumping at the Beach: Quote: Fall in Love with your Life - Awakening Alchemy I’m guessing here that there are some people reading this who are thinking; “Hmmm, you’re very good at throwing clichés around, but how exactly am I supposed to ‘fall in love with life’?” Well, that’s what I’m here for; to give practical, simple steps to achieve our ultimate goal of being happy. So, how do you “fall in love with life”? You fall in love with life in the same way you fall in love with another; initially you adore everything about them, you see only good things in that person, then over time you notice the negative things in that person; you may openly point these things out and air things if they are too serious to ignore, but in the main you focus on the positives.

To apply these to your daily life, here are some simple tips on how to approach life from a pro-love perspective, and to “fall in love with life”.

  • When you wake up every morning don’t get out of bed and start your day immediately. Spend just a few minutes being grateful for all the wonderful things in your life, including the fact that you have yet another day to enjoy in this life and all the wonderful things coming your way that are just around the corner.
  • Be optimistic about everything. I often tell the story of the two men who get up in the morning and throw open their windows. One man says; “Good morning God!” whereas the second man says; “Good God! It’s morning!” Be that first man! So often we look at situations and events from a pessimistic outlook. Embrace the positive – we live in a world of duality; in every negative situation or event there is always something positive to be found, if you look for it.
  • Stop wandering around in a state of oblivious unconsciousness. Most of us are totally unaware of our surroundings and the beauty in them. We wander around, either wrapped up inside our own heads planning this or that, or worse still nose down peering at some device or other. Look around you – “smell the flowers!” Even in the most concrete of urban jungles there are beautiful things to be seen. Look for them – put away the electronic devices and see the beauty in nature, in architecture, and in the people that are all around you. Check out The Oracle Walk on my ‘’Inner Voice’’ page:
  • Wherever you go and whatever you do, be constantly on the lookout for things you love, things that lift your mood and make you smile. Say to yourself as you walk along, or drive along; “I love the shape of that building; I love the smell of those flowers; I love the colour of that woman’s hair; oh, I absolutely love that handbag, those shoes, that car, those mountains, that mall etc. etc…”
  • Make a list of the things you love: I’ve mentioned before the power of actually writing (or typing) things down. There is a direct correlation between writing something down and the likelihood of it sticking in your subconscious, so make a list of everything you absolutely love. You’ll be surprised just how long it can be!
  • Quote: It Takes All Kinds to Make a World - Awakening Alchemy Don’t criticize, judge or gossip about others. That is not giving love! There is so much to love about everyone we meet; if we look always for the positive in people. We don’t know their stories and we can only change one person – ourselves; so, “live and let live!”
  • Surround yourself with like-minded people. Be kind and generous – give sincere praise, and thanks = OFTEN. We become the sum of the people and attitudes of the people we are closest to. If we surround ourselves with negative people who constantly criticize and complain; we will find ourselves constantly criticizing and complaining. Raise your game, send thank you notes, messages of support and praise – kind words, thoughtful deeds can and do make such a difference to the quality of someone’s life.

There is so much in this world to love and the more we love, the more goodness and joy will come into our lives. It is important to note that this isn’t just about being more positive and optimistic in life. Yes, that in itself is indeed a great attitude to have and should be the aim, but it is what results from this love and positivity that is actually so incredible.

Law of Attraction’s Role

The Law of Attraction clearly states that what we give; we shall receive. If we give love, optimism and positivity out to the world, then the events, circumstance and people that come into our lives will, by definition, be, loving, positive, and successful. Similarly, if we give out despair, sadness, pessimism and negativity into the world, then the events, circumstance and people that come into our lives will be hurtful, negative, and will drag us down. It becomes a perpetuating spiral – a race to the bottom – or an uplifting state of joy. Think of it as a mirror reflecting back at you. Which do you prefer?

I’d like to finish today with an incredible thought for the future: If everything negative in this world is brought about by a lack of love, ponder for a few moments the immense power of individuals who actually choose to love. If we all agree that the world needs more love, then what are we waiting for? Let us all make the change and “fall in love with life”. If enough of us do so we can actually tip the world from negativity into positivity; then just watch the wonders that will occur when that happens.

Earth - Shot with Space Background - Awakening Alchemy We live on a gorgeous, beautiful, planet with plentiful [but not unlimited] resources. Does an apple tree decide who is worthy of getting to eat its apples? No of course not. When we, as a human race, fully embrace the concept of loving each other, embracing and celebrating our differences rather than fearing or hating them – we will have shifted the Earth, [Gaia] into vibrating at a higher and way more harmonious level. Lower emotions like fear, hatred, judgement, revenge and lack of compassion/empathy make the shadows darker, the light deserves our focus and joyous intentions. Be part of the movement to change and upgrade our world, by changing yourself. You can, do and will make a difference.

 


If you enjoyed this blog and would like to read more of these uplifting blogs, please do join my website and you will be advised every time a new blog is posted. You can join here.

If you would like to check out the last few blogs, you can find them here:

Seven Concepts of Unity:

A Philosophical Colossus – Gautama Buddha: 

Happiness Revisited:

Celebrating International Women’s History Month:

 

You may also wish to take a look at my psychic detective novel: Spirit of Prophecy, which captures many of the themes I discuss in my blogs in a classic “whodunit” mystery based around the sport of 3-Day-Eventing. Just click on the photo beneath and you’ll be there:

Little Boy on Shore Jumping and Holding the Moon: Carl Sagan Quote - Awakening Alchemy

 

 

 

Now, if you have been paying attention, you will be expecting a blog about reincarnation, right about now. Sometimes the Universe throws us a “curve ball” and that has happened this week. Reincarnation is coming, when it sees fit, but for today please settle back and consider this minor question – what do YOU believe in?

As human beings, we have always had this innate need to believe that we are more than just a flesh and blood accident – that we are something meaningful in this Universe of ours and that we do indeed have some unique gifts to express, and purpose to fulfil. That desire to believe in something greater than ourselves; to find something tangible on which to hang our existence is totally understandable. Nobody wants to feel that their life has no meaning – no purpose.

Over the millennium, men and women have looked to the heavens for purpose and meaning in life and from the moment the earliest hominids stood up and walked, humanity has been obsessed in creating its various stories about its existence, its meaning, and its purpose. Religion, Faith, Belief; whatever it is you wish to call it, is a concept expressed through Creation myths throughout the ages.

Karl Marx once famously wrote; “Religion… it is the opium of the people.” Many would take this to suggest that religion is a prop for the weak-minded; that it provides people with an artificial, illusory happiness and thus removes those, who believe, from the need to participate in creating a better society. I would disagree with those that propound this argument that religion is nothing more than an emotional crutch for feeble-minded people. Religion, it seems to me, is the natural outpouring of humanity’s need to explain the clear existence of a “God” or a “Creator” of our Universe and to feel connected.

That religion has been used throughout history and sadly still is today, to justify barbaric and inhumane acts against our fellow travelers on this planet, does not in of itself make religion a bad thing. I believe that religion, of whatever flavor, actually teaches us vitally important doctrines to live by. It seems to me that many, if not all of the mainstream religions actually have very similar core beliefs, that are both beneficial and advantageous to the individual and society as a whole. If we ignore the distortion of religious doctrine to justify the actions of misguided and negative people, then we can find some truths about life that are common across all the varying flavors and colors of religious philosophy.

In fact, according to recent research all societies play by the rules: 7 to be precise.

All societies are held together by seven universal moral rules, researchers at the University of Oxford have recently concluded. Although many Western cultures are moving towards more liberal less hierarchical organizations, the basic values of charity and fraternity are the cornerstones of successful societies. [We touched upon this is an earlier blog about HAPPINESS and why Scandinavian countries top the ranking tables.] The huge study of 60 cultures around the world found that all communities operated under seven basic moral codes. Universal rules are: 1) help your family 2) help your group 3) return favors 4) be brave 5) defer to superiors 6) divide resources fairly and 7) respect the property of others. Ideas encompassed within the code, include caring for frail relatives, passing on property to offspring, going to war if needed, and respecting elders. These traits held true for every kind of community, from traditional hunter-gatherers, to advanced Western civilizations and work in order to uphold civilized society and foster social cooperation. Everyone, everywhere shares common moral codes, according to Dr Oliver Scott Curry, the lead author and senior researcher at the Institute for Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology at Oxford.

These rules appear to be universal across cultures because people face the same social problems. The study published in Current Anthropology, is the largest most comprehensive and widespread survey of morals conducted and aimed to find out if different societies have different versions of morality. The team analysed ethnographic accounts from more than 600 sources, in 60 societies. They found that the seven rules were considered morally good in all societies and, despite appearing like Western Christian principles, they were in fact observed across all continents, religions and politics. However, some communities valued certain rules more highly than others: for example – the Maasai of Kenya, the uncompromising ideal of supreme warrior-hood involves commitment to self-sacrifice and a supreme display of courageous loyalty. Meanwhile, the Bemba in Zambia exhibit deep sense of respect for elders’ authority, and among the Tarahumara of Mexico respect for the property of others is key.

In Summary:

  1. Help your family, be a loving and protective parent. Pass on property.
  2. Help your group, join communal activities. Promote unity and solidarity.
  3. Return favors, repay a debt and fulfil a contract.
  4. Be brave put yourself at risk for others.
  5. Defer to superiors. Be deferential, respectful, loyal, and obedient.
  6. Divide resources, share the spoils, and be willing to compromise.
  7. Respect other’s property, no stealing, trespassing or vandalism.

Moreover most, if not all mainstream religions actually promote and encourage, “The Golden Rule”; “Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you.” If we respect and value each other, with the same respect and value we should be giving ourselves, then incredible things would happen. The problem, as I see it, is that far too often we not only disrespect and belittle our fellow human beings; we don’t even value and respect ourselves. Once we learn to love ourselves and accept our own wonderful uniqueness and inherent beauty we can then respect and value everyone else’s. The key to implementing the “Golden Rule” is to first and foremost “Love yourself as you are, in all your unique glory.”

Further most, if not all mainstream religions promote and encourage the protection and preservation of our glorious and beautiful planet Earth; its creatures and its environment. We are mere custodians of this planet and yet we continue to pillage and plunder the resources, at immense cost to our environment and more importantly those who will come after us; our children, our grandchildren and the generations yet to be born. We are placed here as stewards of this planet and we need to rally to the call for pro-conservation change.

Perhaps the most important tenet of most, if not all mainstream religions is the overarching belief in the redemptive power of “LOVE”. Love is the key to success as individuals and success as a society. When we approach the world, each other, and ourselves with the motivation of love, amazing things begin to happen in all of our lives. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe; everything bad in the world results from “fear, a constricted heart, and ultimately a lack of love” and if we can tip the balance of the world into love, we can see great change.

I want to introduce you to the word “Omnism”, if you haven’t yet come across it. If you look that up in an online dictionary the definition is given as: “The belief in all religions”. I chose this word because although it doesn’t quite express what I truly believe, it comes as close as anything I can think of. As individuals I believe we create our own reality; and religion, (in whatever form that may take). Whatever you may believe is your reality – your belief, I respect and will always champion your right to believe whatever you choose to believe; whatever reality you choose to create for yourself. It is only when people try to force their beliefs on other people that I would feel compelled to take a stand.

Beliefs change over time; that’s important to understand. What we believed as a child is clearly different to what we believe as an adult. We are programmed, conditioned creatures and until we can break that programming and begin to think for ourselves, our beliefs are those imparted by our parents, our families, our friends, our teachers, and society as a whole.

I can sum up my own personal beliefs (as they are today) in a few succinct paragraphs:

I believe in a power greater than me: Call it God, the Universe, the Creator, The Great Spirit, Yahweh, Allah. Whatever your construct of this higher power is called, one thing I am certain of is that there is a greater power than us.

I believe we are an integral part of our Universe; that we, like everything else in the Universe are created solely from energy, and as such we have no beginning and we have no end – we just always are. Energy cannot be destroyed; it can only be converted into something else. We are immortal spirits experiencing a human journey. I can’t tell you for certain what happens when our physical bodies die, but I do know that we will go on and I look forward to that discovery one day.

I believe in the power of ME and in the power of YOU – The power of the INDIVIDUAL. I believe that the world around us is created by each and every one of us. Our reality is what we create it to be. The power has always been ours – we either surrendered it to others or we never even knew we had it. It’s time to reclaim it! We can save the planet one habit at a time.

I believe in the power of love. This is not just the “romantic” notion of love, it is so much more. This is the love that is the all-powerful, all-pervasive love that drives the Universe. We must love life and embrace it in all its joys and its sorrows. The power of love has the ability to change everything for the better and once we discover that, then our lives will change forever.

I believe my purpose in life is – “To be heart centered, open and to be happy.” Life is a journey and we are all entitled to have wonderful lives, full of happiness and joy, if we chose to. To find that happiness we first need to discover what it is that gives us joy. For me, it is my writing, among other things. If what I write entertains, assists or informs and connects with others, then I have utilized my unique talent for the good.

Finally, I believe that every day should be utilized to LEARN something new about ourselves, our family, our friends and our world. We are on a journey of discovery and the day that we think we know it all, or that we know all we need to know, is the day we have given up and shut down; spiritually, emotionally and probably even physically.

If you would like to check up on some of our earlier bogs, you can find the last five here:

A Philosophical Colossus – Gautama Buddha

Happiness Revisited – Part 3

Celebrating Women’s History Month 

Happiness: That Elusive Dream – Part 2

Happiness: That Elusive Dream – Part 1

If you’ve enjoyed this blog and want to read more, just sign up on our website and you will be sent notification each time a new blog is published. I welcome all feedback and look forward to hearing from you. You can sign up for the website here

Do pop on over to my Books By JJ Hughes page on this website and take a look at my novel, Spirit of Prophecy which incorporates many of the concepts I talk about on my blogs, along with a thrilling “whodunit” mystery. Just click on the photo below and you’re there:

 

 

 

 

This post is not promoting any one particular religion, or religion as such, as I prefer to leave it to your own interpretation of WHO or WHAT constitutes a PRIME CREATOR, or if you choose to disagree completely. That’s a highly personal choice and suffice to say that anyone or any system that demands your blind loyalty and/or obedience  and allegiance is not aligned with the fundamental concept that we are all sovereign beings on our own sacred paths, regardless if we choose to believe in a GOD/HIGHER POWER/PRIME CREATOR or NOT.

Five hundred years before Jesus Christ first dipped his toes into the Sea of Galilee and a full two and a half thousand years before Rhonda Byrne brought us all the precepts of “The Secret”, as delivered to us through the internet, a book and film, one man strode this earth, like a colossus, spreading his message of love, understanding and inner strength. That man was Gautama Buddha – the founder of Buddhism and one of the first of the great philosophers and leaders of world thought. Over this and the next three blogs I will introduce you to the simple philosophies of this profoundly wise man and demonstrate the impact he has had on our modern-day world with many of his ancient precepts which are now taking deeper root in our consciousness. In future blogs I will look at some specific precepts of Buddhism, not as a religion, but as a way of living and interacting with the Universe. Buddhism, like Hinduism, which was beginning to emerge at the same time, both have their roots in Vedic principles.

Today, however, I want to concentrate on the man himself – Gautama Buddha (born Sidharrtha Gautama). There is plenty of argument about when Buddha was born and when he died but there is little argument about the difference he made in the society of the time. Born sometime between 583 and 480 BCE, Buddha is said to have died somewhere between 483 and 400 BCE at age 80, but his legacy stretches across the centuries to this very day. He was born in Lumbini, of the Shakya Republic in what is now modern-day Nepal, into a wealthy influential family but as he grew up he became especially upset at the extent of suffering in the world, so he renounced his privileged life. Buddha [which means Enlightened One] became a monk, a mendicant (a beggar), a sage, and whilst sitting in contemplation under a fig tree – (the Bodhi Tree of Awakening) he had insights that became the basis of his philosophies, teachings and religious/spiritual leadership

His main impact on the society of the time was to teach that there was a “middle way” between typical sensual self-indulgence and severe self-discipline and denial, which was the common belief amongst the people of the region. The basic concept Buddha brought to the world was the idea that the purpose of life was to seek “ultimate enlightenment” as described in Buddha’s discourse – “The Noble Eightfold Path”. There are many tales of Buddha’s life. How many of them are true or not is perhaps moot; what matters most are the teachings and the philosophies he has left behind. One particularly famous event occurred, it is told; of Buddha seating himself under a “pipal [old sacred fig]” tree, in Bodh Gaya, India. He vowed to never arise from that tree until he had found the “truth”. His companions decided Buddha had just given up and left him to it. After forty-nine days of meditation, at the age of thirty-five, he was said to have attained “enlightenment” at which point he became “The Buddha” or the “Awakened One”. It is said, at that time, that Buddha completely understood and had insight into the “Four Noble Truths” and thereby achieving freedom from the endless cycle of rebirth, suffering and dying again, which is a key concept in Hinduism. He would later develop this idea into training the mind (meditation or “dhyana”) as required to take a person to nirvana. Nirvana is characterised as the process of extinguishing the fires of desire, hatred, and ignorance that keep the cycle of suffering and rebirth going. Once Nirvana has been reached it is said a person has lost all personal identity and no boundaries remain to the mind. In this state the person is said to possess the “Ten Characteristics” belonging to every Buddha. As I said earlier, I will be delving much more into the actual study and beliefs of Buddhism in the next blogs, suffice it to say that Gautama Buddha and his Buddhism; like Jesus Christ and Christianity, and Muhammad and Islam, has stood the test of time. After two-and-a-half millennium have passed there are said to be almost five-hundred million practising Buddhists in the world, the bulk of them in Asia. That makes it the world’s fourth largest religion behind Christianity, Islam and Hinduism.

Meanwhile, it is deeply sad to witness, some of the ways in which humanity has perverted their pure thoughts, and ideals for life, to their own means. Buddha’s teachings of peace, love, respect and self-introspection, one day came to be totally ignored, by some of his followers, intent on racial or cultural genocide. The same points can be made about the other religions also. It is deeply disappointing that a religion which greatest precept is; “love thy neighbour as thyself,” should use their beliefs to subjugate, dominate, or completely eliminate whole other classes of humanity. We are surely reaching a stage on this beautiful planet where religious tolerance needs to flourish, and we focus on our commonality, community and connectedness rather than our divisions/barriers and illusions of separateness.  

Before I go today, I want to share some of Buddha’s insights that have made a direct impact on my life. Like Einstein, Buddha is one of those historical figures who are attributed with many more “quotes” than they probably ever made in their lifetime. That aside, however, these ten quotes that I share here are, in my opinion, guidelines for life and for achieving personal fulfilment, whether or not, you follow the full precepts of the Buddha’s teachings. I’ve always said; “if just a large enough proportion of humanity followed these precepts, what a wonderful world we would live in.”

  1. You will not be punished for your anger – you will be punished by your anger.
  2. He has the most, who is most content with the least.
  3. Every day is a new day! No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.
  4. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
  5. Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
  6. Pain is certain –suffering is optional.
  7. The only real failure in life is to not be true to the best one knows.
  8. Give, even if you only have a little.
  9. Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think.
  10. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

 Gautama Buddha

That last quote is one that took me, personally, a while to come to grips with but when I finally realised, I had to let go of my anger, what an enormous difference it made in my life. When we let go, we create space for something new and better to arrive!

As you may have guessed, I’m a big fan of “The Buddha” and that this has just brushed the surface of his teachings. Over the next few weeks we will delve a little more deeply into three aspects of Buddhism that particularly fascinate me:

  1. The Cycle of Rebirth (Reincarnation):  
  2. Samadhi / Dyhana (Meditation), and;
  3. Sila – Buddhist Ethics (Ways of Living)

Be sure to catch these next three blogs. You can sign up here to ensure you never miss a single one of our blogs, and of course if it all gets a bit yawn inducing, you can always switch us off!

Even if Buddhism doesn’t appeal to you, personally, as a religion, I reckon you’ll find something of interest to your everyday life in these up coming articles.

Please do consider signing up for our website. You will receive notification when a new blog has been posted, as well as opportunities to win prizes and exciting promotions. You can sign up here: 

You may wish to catch up on some of our earlier blogs, hop-on here:

Happiness  – That Elusive Dream: Part 3

Celebrating International Women’s History Month

Happiness – That Elusive Dream: Part 2

Happiness – That Elusive Dream: Part 1

 

Please, also, do feel free to check out my fictional “whodunit”, paranormal novel, Spirit of Prophecy. Many of the concepts discussed in these blogs are presented in a fictional setting in Spirit of Prophecy. Just click on the photo below to find out more.

With two of my recent blogs focused on the idea of happiness and ways to achieve this desirable state, which is a continuous work in progress of course. March 20th, last month, came into focus as it was marked as being “World Happiness Day,” so that got me thinking that it would be good to dig a bit deeper with this topic.

The possibility of lasting happiness has been researched by experimental psychologist Sonia Lyubomirsky. She found that happiness, through materialism, wears off like the new car smell, that soon gets stale. Plus, as soon as you drive that new car out of the show room its value depreciates too! The short- term excitement associated with getting a new car, is a good analogy. Studies of twins and adoptees have shown that about 50% of each person’s happiness is determined from birth, this is called your genetic setpoint and this alone makes the happiness glass look half empty, because any upward swing in happiness seems doomed to fall back to your baseline setpoint. So, if you think of this as a pie: half the pie is the genetic setpoint, the smallest slice of the pie, 10% is circumstances and the remaining 40% – what is that? Well, that’s the stuff that we can control and crucially – change: our thoughts, beliefs, and outlook.

We think that more success, more money, more friends: accumulation and acquisition will lead to more happiness but once we have a lotto win, we won’t always be satisfied, in fact often we simply want it again and again, we want more. Happiness is the result of electrical chemicals and their reactions which help us determine what is good versus what is bad, these electrochemical reactions happen in the brain and then we are wired, so, when we feel happy, we want to repeat the sensation. But a happiness-hit is not everlasting, it’s a continuous pursuit and we have to practise it regularly until it becomes a new habit and more automatic.

Here are some ways to spread happiness:

  1. Say hi to your neighbours, offer to help an elderly person who lives nearby.
  2. Avoid gossiping, give people the benefit of the doubt instead of judging them harshly.
  3. Create a compassion habit and do one kind act today. Pay people authentic and genuine compliments – try to make your compliments specific so they connect better.
  4. Listen well, focus on hearing what people say rather than offering solutions. For more ideas about “listening” go to my website www.moneymagnet.global/listening
  5. Cultivate good manners, open doors, say thank you. Acknowledge other people, be grateful. Smile!

We all want to feel content and we spend a large part of our lives in pursuit of happiness. We look for work that fulfils us, partners we cherish, families that support and nurture us, and friends that make us laugh. Or do we? Perhaps surprisingly, our lifestyles and our actions often suggest that we do not strive for happiness above all but instead sacrifice feeling happy for other goals such as making money, gaining social status and avoiding negatives, such as discomfort or boredom. Today in the developed world at least, there is more potential for individual happiness than ever before. We have more freedom, more money and greater opportunities than our predecessors could even have dreamt of, so in theory we should be happier but for many of us it doesn’t feel like that. The fact is that modern-day living is stressful, we are increasingly connected by technology and yet disconnected from nature. [Check out my website page on “Inner Voice: No 8 – Connect with Nature.” for more on this topic.] Our friendships are becoming more widely stretched and more superficial as we chat online but not in person. Workplaces are increasingly controlled by multinational corporations making it more difficult to see the direct results, and the benefits of our labour in the way that our ancestors did. This has all led to a general sense of disconnection and sadly a decline in our mental health. Apparently more than three quarters of visits to the doctor now seem to be stress related in one way or another.

Happiness A, B, C.

We cannot exert control over all of our life circumstances, but psychologists believe that making small changes to our daily lives, our outlook and attitude can have a significant effect on our emotional well-being. Remember that 40% element that involves our daily activities and other factors that are under our control. So, you can manage that 40% and increase your happiness quota: here are some 10 happier habits you might like to play with:

  1. Surround yourself with other happy people.
  2. Prioritise activities that make you feel good – block out some time in your diary.
  3. Take responsibility for your own happiness and don’t blame others when things go wrong.
  4. Get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise regularly.
  5. Forgive yourself when you slip up. Think self-love and self-compassion.
  6. Take pleasure in the small, simple things.
  7. Don’t compare yourself to other people but welcome the success of others.
  8. Get out into nature regularly.
  9. Be resilient when setbacks hit. Cry – get it out – then get back on track.
  10. Give to others through kindness, compliments and donations.
  11. Connect with some of the activities that you used to enjoy as a child.

Look at a picture of yourself as child and ask, “Okay, let’s do something silly and fun, what do you have in mind?’’

That might be something like colouring or getting creative, having a water fight with friends. Tuning in and dancing to some rousing upbeat music. On a warm evening go outside lie on a blanket and gaze up at the stars. In summer-time buy yourself an ice cream, go feed the ducks on the pond. Bounce on a trampoline – have some tickle time – remember being tickled with a feather as a child – that light playful touch can trigger laughter. Go for skipping through some fields, whist blowing bubbles. Play hide and seek or hop-scotch. Experience awe when viewing some breath-taking spectacle, this gives us an instant lift and shifts your mental perspective: look at a picture of the Northern lights or a picture of dolphins leaping joyously out of the sea. Look for the silver lining in every cloud the sky.

Initial results with positive ‘Be Happy” interventions have been promising but sustaining them is tough, so instilling habits is ideal. Another key is the fit or how well the exercise or practice matches the person because if it feels contrived and you’re forcing it against your grain you’ll be less likely to do it anyway. However, the biggest factor may be getting over the idea that happiness is fixed and realising instead that sustained effort can boost it. One of the things that repeatedly came up in  studies was that it’s not necessarily money that makes you happier, in fact in studies of rich people the levels of happiness were not greater, in fact when psychologists study what makes people happy they find that being kind to others makes people happier and people only need moments of compassion to build upon because there is the positive feedback loop: when you do a kind deed you become happier which makes it more likely that you’ll do another kind act like help your neighbour carry in their groceries or take your mum out for lunch. The central idea now is that practising compassion to be happy replaces the old material and accomplishment driven concept of getting more is better. The old energy and way of doing things was to strive for money and acquire things and take practical steps to get there, to obtain this or that – an endless shopping list, perhaps? Now times are shifting, and we’re about to become less materialistic and more aware of sustainability, giving something back rather than just taking.

Another reason for revisiting happiness is that it is a desirable state, since it raises our vibration, and everything is energy after all. Philosophers, since the very dawn of time have sought the answer to that most fundamental of questions – Why are we here? The answers their deep thinking and varied hypotheses have come up with are as disparate as we, as individuals, are. Having read and studied many of these philosopher’s arguments, it has always seemed to me that there are some over-arching themes – we, as individuals, are meant overall to be happy. If we accept, as I do, that we are spiritual beings merely undertaking this human journey, then we intuitively know that this life is not the be-all and end-all of existence. This human experience is just one small journey on our spiritual travels.

At the onset I mentioned World Happiness Day, which was started in 2011 by philanthropist, activist, statesman and prominent United Nations special adviser Jayme Illien to inspire, mobilise and advance the cause of the “global happiness movement”. In 2011 the United Nations agreed to declare March 20th, each year as a special day designated to mark the importance of happiness to humanity. For this reason, alone, it should signify to us that happiness is a state that is beneficial to embrace, celebrate and ultimately to be sought by every human being.

We are meant to be happy! And yet, so few of us actually are. Just as a matter of interest, I decided to look at the happiness register that categorises countries each year by their level of happiness, just to see if there was a common thread that could tell us why some societies are intrinsically happier than others. The latest happiness register lists the top ten happiest countries in the world in 2018. They are as follows:

  1. Finland
  2. Norway
  3. Denmark
  4. Iceland
  5. Switzerland
  6. Netherlands
  7. Canada
  8. New Zealand
  9. Sweden
  10. Australia

It’s a fascinating list, isn’t it? The first thing, obviously, that jumps out at us is that the top four countries in the world when it comes to happiness, are all Nordic countries, in Scandinavia and with Sweden coming in at number nine, you could conclude that Scandinavia has got to be the place to live if you want to be happy. In fact, it seems that the US is in a period of happiness slippage as America is dropping down the league rankings. I have no doubt there are a hundred and one reasons why these tough, Nordic peoples appear to be the happiest human beings on the planet but with their long, cold, winters and their brief but beautiful summers, one thought does resonate with me. Given the nature of their location, and climate, they, as a people, have by necessity come to rely on themselves and their immediate families for their joy and their happiness. In the Scandi countries they have deep respect for family time, they work productively yet have famously generous paternity leave – fully-paid 9 months off for mothers and 3 months for fathers – compare that with 12 weeks unpaid leave in the US. Plus, they believe that it’s important to take holidays and they use their 25 days off – whereas in the US the average 16 days often get banked and lost. Also, in contrast are the attitudes to health and well-being. Scandinavians to an extent are obsessed with being outdoors and have some incredible scenery on the doorstep, the saying goes there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes. The Swedes for instance have a mantra of moderation: LAGOM (Just the right amount), whereas the US is more geared towards extremes than the concept of balance which is central to many Scandinavians.

You could certainly argue, looking at the top ten countries on the list, that wealth and prosperity plays a big part in this happiness – but if that was the case, why isn’t the United States or even the oil-rich Gulf States on the top of that list. The US actually ranks at No. 18, and Saudi Arabia comes in at No. 33. Wealth also doesn’t explain why a relatively poor country like Costa Rica came in at 13th on the list or Mexico and Chile at 24th and 25th respectively. Certainly, the top ten countries on the list are all western, progressive, liberal democracies, which may go some way to telling us that this is the political flavour under which happiness can flourish well. They, in the main, have very generous social programs, and employment is very pro-family.

Arguably, it may have a lot to do with these “Happy Nations” having a high genetic set point, plus how they manage the stuff they can control. They have excellent education, healthcare systems, high average income levels, but they also take personal responsibility for staying in good shape, pulling their weight in society and being appreciative. The Danes have a concept of social bonding and belonging which they call HYGGE (Coziness and comfortable conviviality).

In other words, they CHOOSE to be happy. Or perhaps happiness is a by-product of their contribution to building and maintaining a well-functioning society.

Canada, New Zealand and Australia, as Commonwealth colonies, have always had a reputation for “punching above their weight” in world affairs. I think the same isolationism experienced by the Scandinavians and the need to prove themselves on the world stage, especially to their ex-colonial masters be it in global conflict, in sport, or in technological innovation, is what has propelled these countries both to be self-sufficient and innately happy, as a people. The Netherlands, of course, is a country born of the sea. The Dutch people have had to struggle for survival from the relentless encroachment of their land, by the sea (which is only being exacerbated by climate change) as well as aggression from neighbours. Again, this collective self-sufficiency shines through, whilst relying on themselves but having a sense of community and cohesion at the same time, the “Happy Nations” are plugging into the bio-feedback loop.

If the Americans really want to live the American Dream, they could move to Denmark perhaps?

Just for a moment, stop and imagine (as John Lennon would have said) a world where every individual woke up in the morning and made a conscious decision to be happy, that day. What a change that would make on the global stage. It’s not that difficult to do and I’ve given you some practical ideas on how to achieve that here and in the previous two articles. So, my final advice to you today – you guessed it:

CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY – today, tomorrow and every day from now on.

Make your happiness-fix your new must-have habit. Have fun!

If you would like to check out the previous two blogs on Happiness, or some of our other blogs, they can be found here:

HAPPINESS: Part 1:

HAPPINESS: Part 2:

PRECOGNITION: Part 1:

PRECOGNITION: Part2: 

Do also consider signing up to our website where you will receive notification every time a new blog is posted as well as exciting promotional opportunities and the chance to win prizes from time to time. You can sign up here:

Be sure to check out my novel, Spirit of Prophecy, which delves into many of the topics mentioned in my blogs, through a fictionalized “whodunit” mystery featuring, horses, magic, psychics, karma and even a touch of wicca. It’s incredibly exciting and you can read all about it here: SPIRIT OF PROHECY:

 

 

March, this year is celebrated as “International Women’s History Month” so here’s a post celebrating some of the great woman of this world’s women, in total; two from history, two from the present, and two+ fictional characters from the future.

THE PAST:

Anjezē Gonxhe Bojaxhiu:

The first woman that gets my admiration and accolades is Anjezē Gonxhe Bojaxhiu better known as Saint Teresa of Calcutta or Mother Teresa. Born in Uskup, Kosovo in August 1910, Mother Teresa died on September 5th 1997, aged 87, in Calcutta (Kolkata), India where she made her mark on the world stage and was widely venerated. A consecrated Catholic nun, Mother Teresa dedicated her life to caring for the poor, the indigent and the dying of the Calcutta slums. Founding ‘’The Missionaries of Charity’’, that now has over 4,500 nuns as adherents and operates in some 130 countries; the Order is dedicated to managing homes for those dying of HIV/AIDS, Leprosy and Tuberculosis. The Order also run soup kitchens, pharmaceutical dispensaries, mobile medical clinics, children and family counselling programs, as well as orphanages and schools.

Like all her Order’s members, Mother Teresa took a vow of chastity, poverty, obedience and whole-hearted free service to the poorest of the poor. Despite being the recipient of many accolades and awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize and Canonization by the Catholic Church, Mother Teresa was a divisive figure in both life and death. To rise to such prominence and indeed power in such a patriarchal organization as the Catholic Church required great fortitude, courage, persistence and sheer-bloody-mindedness, which Mother Teresa was said to have had plenty of. Although being greatly admired by all, for her charitable works, she was both praised and criticized for her steadfast opposition to abortion. The poor conditions of some of her houses for the dying were often the butt of many of the criticisms levelled at this amazing woman.

I think, in an incredible life of 87 years, most of it spent living in the most appalling of conditions, alongside the rejects of India’s society, much as her spiritual leader, Jesus Christ had commanded, Mother (or Saint) Teresa epitomizes the strength of character and resolve that is so admirable in women who commit their lives to helping others. She was known to be a pragmatist and had little time for overarching and controlling bureaucracy – and was committed first and above all to those whose needs outweighed her own. She has left a legacy of love, compassion and understanding that we would all be wise to learn from. She wasn’t a woman to self-promote and she did not speak publicly often but when she did, she inspired people in general and women in particular. I’ll leave her today, with one of her most memorable quotes, in my mind: “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving, happier.” Mother Teresa.

Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi:

I believe Indira Gandhi deserves her place in women’s history for the amazing feat of leading the world’s most populous democracy for a ten- year period, from 1966 through to 1977 and then again, from January 1980, until her assassination in October 1984. She stands alone as the first and only female Prime Minister of India and the second longest-serving Prime Minister, after her father, Jarwaharlal Nehru.

If two things described Ghandi’s influence on the massive country called India, it could be political inflexibility and her centralisation of power within the country. She was known to be tough and uncompromising as a leader and went to war with Pakistan, supporting the war of Independence by East Pakistan, which was duly won and saw the creation of Bangladesh. This desire to build up the country’s military and influence in the region saw India become the most significant political player in the South Asia region. Despite her successes, she is roundly criticised for her response to public calls for certain regions to break away from India, especially in the north of the country. She instituted a state of Emergency from 1975 to 1977, suspending basic civil liberties and censoring the press. It is now accepted that widespread human rights violations and atrocities occurred during this state of emergency. After winning office again in 1980 in free and fair elections, Ghandi was assassinated by her own bodyguards and Sikh nationalists. This followed a military operation, codenamed “Blue Star” that saw the military, storm the revered Golden Temple of Amritsar to remove the militant Sikh religious leader and his followers. She was succeeded as Prime Minister by her son, Rajiv Ghandi.

Despite the turmoil and troubled times over which Indira Gandhi ruled it is worth noting that her beloved India still came out of the twentieth century, intact, a world power, and still the world’s most populous, functioning democracy and for that alone, she deserves our plaudits and our respect, as not only an outstanding woman but also as an outstanding leader. In 1999 Indira Gandhi was chosen as “Woman of the Millennium: in an online poll run by the BBC.

I’ll leave Indira Ghandi with a quote that I believe summarises her political life. My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people; those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.” Indira Ghandi.

THE PRESENT:

Theresa Mary May:

Few could argue that this woman has not had a major influence on the future of the United Kingdom, as she has attempted to negotiate BREXIT. World focus and indeed, often ridicule has shone on her. Theresa May has stood tall and proud during these difficult times, refusing to kowtow to scathing attacks on her leadership from the opposition and indeed, it seems, at times, from all sides. She has steadfastly stuck to her belief that her role was to carry out the express wishes of the British people in the referendum and leave the EU with the best deal she could negotiate. You can argue over her negotiating strategy, you can argue over her management and leadership of her party, and of parliament but nobody can argue or deny this woman has stuck to her beliefs and her determination to carry out the wishes of her people.

What an amazing example of determination, resilience and sense of duty she has shown, as she stepped up and took the baton, in what has proven to be an arduous, long and difficult marathon. Her party, the Conservative party [broadly similar to the Republican Party in the US] has historically been split over the IN – OUT European Union issue. Theresa has a minority government so her hands are tied somewhat, whilst she has had to try to balance the opposing fractions and not only the opposing views of her own party but the entire Houses of Parliament [who are in the majority, Remainers (want Britain to stay in the EU) ] and yet deliver the democratic will of the people who voted to Leave.

For her most seemly conduct and endless patience through-out this epic struggle, the outcomes, twists and turns – of which have been described as a constitutional crisis no less, she deserves our utmost respect, admiration and support amidst the noise of personal attacks and vitriol currently circulated against her. She has held fast against all the odds

March 29th 2019 was a historic – [some would say hysterical, given the current state of political play] day in the UK, as this was the day which the UK Parliament agreed by unanimously passing Article 50, that the United Kingdom was due to leave the European Union. This was decided under a process where UK voters had a referendum two years prior to determine whether to Leave [Brexit] or Remain [Stay in as Before] in the European Union, which is a unified co-joining of some 28 countries, under the umbrella of a single trading market, freedom of movement of people and an over-arching legal system [the European Court of Justice] to oversee and harmonise laws/regulations/rights.  Rather surprisingly, for some, [not me, as my prophetic instinct and strategic/visionary skills fully kicked in here] after David Cameron called the Referendum, the Leave vote won and the next day David Cameron [Call-me-Dave] an arch-Remainer and several of his key cabinet ministers quit. This left the new leader of the Conservative party, and the new Prime Minister – Theresa May, to take up the poisoned chalice and run with it. To date she has almost been run into the ground. So, regardless of the outcome, IN – OUT or still Shaking-it-All-About, in this Brexit business my heart goes out to Theresa May, who has above all done her very best for her country. Thank you!

May history be kind and may many more females achieve amazing things for us all. Theresa has insulin-dependent diabetes, yet she has shown incredible energy and such a determined spirit that she deserves a huge round of applause. At any rate, I feel she may well yet have the last laugh…

Sigourney Weaver:

Perhaps no actress more accurately portrayed the role of the tough, independent, and fearless woman, as Sigourney Weaver did, in the Alien franchise, where she played the character of Ellen Ripley. Although Weaver has appeared in over 60 movies, numerous television shows and stage shows, to a generation of young women growing up in the 1980’s it will be as Ellen Ripley, a woman who showed these young ladies just what women were capable of, that she will be most loved, remembered and revered for.

Weaver has had a multitude of nominations and awards heaped on her, including; three Academy Award nominations; three BAFTA Award nominations, including one win, for The Ice Storm; one Critics Choice Award nomination; seven Golden Globe nominations, including two wins, for Gorillas in the Mist and Working Girls; three Emmy Award nominations; three Screen Actors Guild Award nominations; and one Tony Award Nominations. It is not, perhaps for these recognitions of her significant body of work that we should celebrate Sigourney Weaver but perhaps much more so for her longevity in an industry where women are routinely tossed aside when they reach their mid-thirties. Indeed, at age sixty-nine Weaver can still truly be called a leading lady in Hollywood. She has rarely been without work in her entire career and is currently filming or preparing for the long-awaited sequels to Avatar; Avatar 2 and 3.

As a working woman in Hollywood, Weaver has been one of those rare breeds who have been able to keep a celebrity marriage alive and going despite the intense pressures of the industry. Married to stage director, Jim Simpson, since October 1st 1984, the pair have one daughter, Charlotte Simpson. Outside of the movie industry Weaver is probably best known for her work supporting the Dian Fossey Gorilla fund. After making the movie, Gorillas in the Mist which celebrated Fossey’s life’s work, Weaver became involved with the fund, as a fervent environmentalist and is now the fund’s Honorary Chairperson.

She has also used her celebrity to further her belief in other environmental causes. In 2006, at the start of a United Nations General Assembly, she called a news conference to outline the widespread threat to ocean habitats posed by deep-sea trawling. In addition to this she has hosted the annual Gala of the Trickle-Up Program that focuses on those in extreme poverty, mainly women and disabled persons.

In the tough, image-focused industry Sigourney Weaver stands out, as a shining light to us all of what is possible when you have grit and a determination to succeed, without having to surrender your basic principles and humanity on the throne of populism. I salute her as an example to women everywhere.

THE FUTURE:

I recently watched the Imax 3D version of Captain Marvel co-directed by Anna Boden, which was released on International Women’s Day, Friday 8th March 2019, during Woman’s History month which we are celebrating here. This is a great movie which doesn’t rely on romance, but demonstrates diversity of career and race with strong, smart and bold female characters that we get behind. Talk about girl power!

On that note I’d like to introduce my two women of the future – who are fictional characters from my “whodunit” mystery novel, Spirit of Prophecy which is set in 2021. They are Juliet Jermaine and Detective Sergeant Rosetta Barrett.

Juliet Jermaine:

Juliet Jermaine, it seems, has it all; a beautiful, young, wealthy American woman, living her dream, in the rural English heartland. Juliet has a dashingly handsome fiancée/business partner in Matt Lebaine and is the current Olympic 3-Day-Event champion, with her world-beating horse, Gothic. She is laser-focused on defending her crown at the next Olympics, but it all begins to unravel one typically frosty English morning when Juliet and her teenage stable-hand are out hacking in the country lanes around their stable. What initially appears to be a random road-rage incident has catastrophic consequences. Juliet’s life is flipped upside down in an instant, and how will she cope with the tragedy?

What readers and reviewers particularly like about this character is she is a fiercely determined young lady who knows what she wants from life and is prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve her goals. She is loyal and trusting, but recoils from blow after blow as she subsequently discovers that her trust has been profoundly betrayed. Her loyalties will also be tested when it becomes apparent that in order to pursue her Olympic dream, with her beloved Gothic now gone, she is going to have to hurt and betray a very dear friend in the equestrian community to gain a horse of Olympic stature. Juliet is now in a battle of conscience that must see her decide what her most important priorities are; her success or her values.

To me, Juliet epitomizes the struggle many women daily, perhaps not over life and death issues, as she must, but over choices between good and bad, morality and immorality. As women, we want to succeed, especially in this man’s world we have inherited, but is success to be had at all costs, flinging away those qualities of care, understanding and concern for others? Should we give up those special qualities we possess to compete on an equal footing with the men? Juliet’s sport is one of the very few that allow men and women to compete equally on the international stage, so in that respect Juliet is already at the forefront of women’s equity. She has to make that ultimate decision as to what is more important to her; love and justice or winning? Life is a compromise between competing values and Juliet, like all of us, must make those decisions on her own. That’s why, for me, Juliet deserves her place as a role model for all aspiring young women, in whatever endeavor they undertake. For Carol, Captain Marvel, there’s a movement: #captainmarvelchallenge to encourage young girls to go and see this first female led superhero movie.

 

Detective Sergeant Rosetta Barrett:       

What readers truly love about this character is her complexity and the many faceted roles she must play as first a women detective but also as a psychic detective and a member of an elite inter-governmental body that is charged with handling all things otherworldly, including; psychics, telekinesis, telepathy, clairvoyance, witchcraft, aliens, and even time-travel. Rosetta has become deeply involved with EPIS (Elite Paranormal Intelligence Services) in order to “right” historical “wrongs” that now result in murderous karma travelling through the generations to wreak havoc in today’s world. This she does through the facility of Time Travel (Using the T-Portal).

For Rosetta her “gift” of psychic ability has not always seemed like such a gift. It has cost her a marriage to an influential Diplomat, has estranged her from her two children, and opened her up to ridicule from her police colleagues and even her friends. Despite all the pain and angst in her personal life, Rosetta realizes her gift is what makes her able to save lives and to prevent tragedy. She is prepared to put her needs beneath those of the general good and that alone makes her stand out as a great female role-model.

When Rosetta gets some inkling of the tragedy that is about to strike Juliet and her horse, she tries desperately to contact her to abort the planned ride that morning, but is unable to reach her, in part due to the intransigence of AI (Artificial Intelligence) supposedly designed to help humanity, rather than hinder them. Ha-ha! With a road-rage murder on her detective’s plate, Rosetta must work fast to establish a possible link to murderous karma from the past that is playing out today. She and Juliet must find a way to get to the bottom of these crimes without exposing her gifts to the ever-present media.

When Rosetta’s ex-husband becomes a suspect and her son is caught up in the investigation too, by a combination of coincidence and bad luck, Rosetta must make some tough judgement calls about loyalty to her job or to her family. Rosetta is lonely and wants someone to share her life with; someone who understands the stress her gift puts on her. Could she find the love she so craves in the arms of her sweet and understanding boss, Rav Patel, or perhaps the roguishly handsome and ever-charming Irish Traveler, Tommy Rafferty might be the answer?

Detective Sergeant Rosetta Barrett represents the dilemma many working woman experience as they are so often forced to choose between loyalty to their career and their needs versus the needs of their families and loved ones. With the added dimension of her psychic abilities, Rosetta’s courage and determination to do what is right has a message for us all and so I salute her in this International Women’s History Month. She, like all of the women mentioned here are inspirational in their display of strength, perseverance and above all hope.

Whether you agree with my choices or not, is not important, what is important is that we, as women, celebrate, lift-up and encourage each and every one of us to achieve the very best we can be and reach our potential, not only as women, but as human beings.

Be sure to keep reading our blogs, to subscribe if you haven’t already, sign up here

KEEP CELEBRATING WOMEN – ALL YEAR LONG!

Be sure to check out some of our earlier blogs, which you can find here:

Happiness: That Elusive Dream – Part 2 

Happiness: That Elusive Dream – Part 1 

Precognition – Real? You Be The Judge Part 2

Precognition – Real? You Be The Judge Part 1 

Also, please do pop on over to another part of my website and take a look at Spirit of Prophecy. I’m sure you’ll love it. Just click on the photo below and you’re there:


 

In our last blog, I introduced you to the notion of happiness and told you it was a choice, so today I’d like to tell you how exactly you can make that choice and make it stick.

First of all start thinking about being happy – what is it that makes you happy? It’s different for everyone, so what works for me to bring me to my “happy place”, won’t necessarily work for you. That’s one of the beauties of our uniqueness; we all have our different perspectives on life and “Viva la différence!” It might be something as simple as sitting in the garden reading a good book, or walking on the beach in the moonlight with your partner, or skydiving or just about anything that puts you at peace; that puts you in that land where nothing can hurt you or upset you. As I intimated, I like to call that “my happy place”. For me personally, it is actually sitting on a beach listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

This “happy place” is incredibly important, because it is where you need to go when circumstances threaten to overwhelm you and send you spiralling down into the abyss of pity, sadness or misery. Whenever I feel stressed, upset, or about to lose my cool with someone, I mentally walk away – if possible I close my eyes and transport myself to “my happy place”. I swear that a couple of minutes visualizing the scene that never fails to fill me with peace and happiness is almost always enough to avoid the looming confrontation, or the silly arguments that start inside my head. Rather than get upset, I CHOOSE to turn away and refresh myself with happiness. It works… and the great thing is you can build up a bank of these happy experiences that you can call on at any time. You’re only limited by your imagination.         

The second piece of practical advice I can give you on happiness is to stop trying to change the world, or others, all by yourself. Once we accept and fully understand that there is only one person in the world that we have any real control over – OURSELVES – then we can stop allowing other people’s dramas and the sorry state of our society to destroy our happiness. I’ve mentioned in the past that I am a great believer in the “butterfly effect”. In other words what we do to change ourselves individually can collectively, change the world.

It’s a really simple philosophy – if I can’t actually change it myself, I won’t let it influence my mood. If I can change it, then I’ll do something about it. What springs to mind immediately as I write this is the prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous. It really is the smartest piece of advice you could ever take on board to lead a happy life:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,”

“The courage to change the things I can,”

“And the wisdom to know the difference.”

A very simple rule to live by and one that will grant you peace of mind.

We live in a world of duality. Sadly there is great suffering, pain, torment and sadness on our planet, but equally there is intense joy, happiness, love and beauty all around us. Individually we may feel powerless to change the terrible situations of our fellow human beings, but collectively through our thoughts, words and actions, anything is possible.

Embrace the “can do”, reject the “too hard” and your spirit will soar to the heavens, dragging everyone else, kicking and screaming, along behind you. Be the one that people look at, marvel and say; “Wow, doesn’t he/she have it all! What a together person.”

You really can be that person, you know. All you have to do is to learn to love yourself unconditionally and realize that you are a unique, talented individual whose contribution to this world is valid and valuable. You have everything inside of you that you need to be an awesome, fulfilled and most of all happy human being.       

My next tip is related to the previous one: Surround yourself with people that will uplift you, support you and fill you with pleasure. We all know how hard it is to be positive and happy when we are with someone who grumbles, moans and complains about everything. Very soon we find ourselves dragged down to their level, agreeing with them and sympathizing with their plight. This is a sure way to sabotage your happiness, so beware of such friends or family members. Similarly it is hard to be down, sad and miserable when our friends are full of joy, bubbly and expressive. We get dragged along with them on their exciting journey. I’ve said before; we, as individuals, emotionally are the average of our five closest friends; so chose those five closest friends wisely.

Now, I’m not suggesting you jettison all your dear friends or relatives just because they can be a bit grumpy at times but try and deal with their moods and attitudes differently. When they complain about something, look for the positive in that situation (there always is one – even if it might be hard to find sometimes) and point that out to them. If they need advice – then sure, advise them; if they need a shoulder to cry on – by all means provide that shoulder (that’s what friends do); if they just need to talk, to get their problems off their chest – then absolutely just listen to them. BUT here is what NOT to do; do not take their problems, concerns and anger onto your shoulders. They are not your problems; you don’t have to allow yourself to become emotionally involved in your friend’s issues. You do what you need to do and then move on. Do not dwell on their problems and do not buy into their sadness and their pain. The absolute best thing you can do in that situation is to offer positive solutions – solutions just like these that work for you.    

The final actual tip I want to give you today is a simple and easy step that I use and that takes so little time to implement and yet is so incredibly powerful to set you up for your day ahead.

When you wake up in the morning; don’t immediately jump out of bed, put on the coffee, prepare your things for work or school, or begin planning your day and imagining the difficult things you need to prepare for. When you wake up in the morning – don’t do anything! Just lie there in bed, with your eyes closed, if need be, to stop your partner from kicking you out of bed and telling you to get the coffee brewing. Just lie there and for five, ten, or even fifteen minutes just picture your day the exact way you want it to go. Visualize that important meeting you have with a client. See the client shake hands and accept the deal; picture your teacher congratulating you on that great paper you submitted; see the table where you will sit and enjoy your lunch and coffee during your break; imagine the joy on your kid’s faces when you walk into the house that evening. It doesn’t matter what the day ahead holds for you – even if it is just a routine day, picture the little things; your co-worker complimenting you on your outfit; getting a good parking spot; finishing those letters you’ve been putting off.

The whole point of this exercise is to “create” the day you desire for yourself – the day that will make you happy, content and at peace with everyone. In the last couple of minutes before you do leap into action; just visit your “happy place”, revel in the memories of the moment. By the time you are ready to jump into the shower and begin this day, your mind will already be in the place it needs to be for this day to be successful, happy and purposeful. Do it every day and then every day your creations will occur. It’s that simple.   

I want to finish today with one final thought: You don’t need any other person’s validation to be happy. Nothing anyone can say or think about you should ever make you either happy or unhappy. We are the architects of our own lives – not other people. Stop letting other people’s opinions, words or actions rob you of your happiness! You are you and you stand alone, complete, and unique in yourself. You can be happy regardless of what others think of you. I want to give you a really good example of what I mean here. This blog that I lovingly compile every week is a perfect example. I have no idea how many people actually read it (I do know how many people visit my site, but I don’t know exactly what they read). Now that should upset and worry me, under conventional thinking. I mean, what is the point of writing and sweating my thoughts onto paper, if nobody actually cares enough to want to read them.

 

BUT truly it doesn’t matter to me. I write this blog first and foremost because it is my passion – it’s what makes me happy – It is one of my happy places that I love to visit. I don’t need the validation of others to make this exercise worthwhile for me. Of course, I’m human and I love it when someone takes the time to tell me that I touched them, or I made a difference (and a couple have, which is amazing) but the bottom line is, if the only person that ever read this was me, I’d still be happy. I want to make a difference in my own small way; but my worth and my happiness is not dependent on the validation of other people, or their opinions of what I do. 

Why? 

BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! GIVE IT A TRY – IT’S AWESOME!  

Please do consider signing up for our website where you will receive notification of new blogs, great promotional opportunities and the chance to win prizes, from time to time. You can join here:  

Be sure to check out my best-selling novel, Spirit of Prophecy, which is an exciting “whodunit” mystery woven around many of the themes I’ve been covering in these blogs. You can find, Spirit of Prophecy, here: http://bit.ly/2LeRJ84

 

You may wish to check out some of our previous blogs, which can be accessed here:

Happiness – That Elusive Dream (Part 1) 

Precognition – Real? You Be The Judge (Part 2)

Precognition – Real? You Be The Judge (Part 1)

Attitude Upgrade (Part 2)

Attitude Upgrade (Part 1)

 

 

Happy days! And welcome to this week’s blog, where we look at what I would say is an indispensible pillar to a successful, purpose-filled, and most importantly of all – A HAPPY LIFE!

Happiness is such an ethereal word – hard to capture, hard to define and perhaps even harder to practice on a daily basis. I mean to say, how many times have you gotten out of bed in the morning dreading what the day had in store for you? Not at all surprisingly, on those particular days, guess what? The day presented you with all the misgivings that you thought it would. Probably, without even realizing it, you created your own self-fulfilling prophecy – that’s awesome! Why is it awesome to have a shitty day? Well, simply put, if you can create for yourself the exact same shitty day that you thought lay in store for you – well newsflash people – you can turn that around one hundred and eighty degrees and create for yourself, the perfect, happy day.

Now before you start jumping up and down and thinking this woman must be in some sort of drug-heightened nirvana to suggest that happiness is that simple; let me assure you that the only thing I am high on is – LIFE! Anyone and yes, I do mean YOU can embrace happiness if you really want to. 

Absolutely the very first thing we need to get clear in our minds is that happiness IS actually a choice. It is a personal choice that we can make every single day. We weren’t born with a permanent scowl on our faces – we just made the choice to view the world from that perspective.

I’m certain we can all come up with oodles of justifications why we should be unhappy;

  • “Our job sucks”,
  • “Our spouse doesn’t understand us”,
  • “I never have enough money”,
  • “My kids are a pain”, and so on and so on; ad infinitum.

But… what, on our beautiful green earth, is the benefit to us and to everyone around us from choosing to be unhappy? It is the most pointless of decisions that we can make, and yet regularly do make. Many of us continue on, blissfully, every day, making this incredibly odd decision to not be happy.

“That’s just insanity!”

It reminds me of a very famous quotation by one of my favourite thinkers; the original Henry Ford. He said; “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

Being unhappy has brought you what exactly? More unhappiness! Right? So isn’t it time you tried something new? Try happiness instead and marvel at the quick turnaround in every aspect of your life. Your state of happiness or otherwise directly impacts on EVERY area of your life.

It seems such a simple thing; choosing to be happy, and yet so many of us just don’t understand what it is we should do to actually make that choice. Really and truly it isn’t that difficult to make some small adjustments to your routine and your outlook to make your life happier and more fulfilled.

Make sure you check back for Part 2 of this Happiness Blog, when I’ll be giving you some very specific and practical steps on how to acquire that most elusive of all emotions: HAPPINESS!

In the meantime, please do check out my best-selling novel, Spirit of Prophecy in which many of the notions and concepts I’ve covered in my blogs are woven into a fantastic, “whodunit” mystery that revolves around Olympic Champion Three-Day Eventing. You can find Spirit of Prophecy, here on my website: http://bit.ly/2LeRJ84

Spirit of Prophecy by J.J Hughes - Book Launch

You may wish to check out some of our previous blogs, which can be accessed here: 

Precognition – Real? You Be The Judge (Part 2) 

Precognition – Real? You Be The Judge (Part 1) 

Attitude Upgrade (Part 2) 

Attitude Upgrade (Part 1) 

Karma – More Than You Thought

Fear! Why? 

An Attitude of Gratitude

Karma – It’s Gonna Get Ya

Three-Day-Eventing: A Horse’s Pentathlon? What’s That All About Then? 

 

Continuing our earlier discussion in my previous blog, regarding precognition and whether on not it is real or valid:

From a mainstream scientific perspective, the existence of psi phenomena remains controversial- the serious sceptics dismiss all of the supporting scientific evidence and decree that 100% of it can only be due to flukes, flaws or fraud. Yet there are some scientists who are confident that this dismissive sceptical opinion is wrong. Overall there is a body of strong positive evidence for the following: 1) Telepathy 2) Remote viewing 3) Implicit precognition 4) Random number generation and 5) The global consciousness project.

Yet notwithstanding this, applying scientific methods to investigate psi experiences generates uncertainty due to the assumptions about the nature of reality which are formulated within the scientific worldview i.e. the status quo tends to prevail and so it downplays genuine thought innovation. Psi and magical concepts tend to be taboo within the academic and research worlds, and as Upton Sinclair said: “It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on him not understanding it.” The data in support of precognition and possibly other related phenomena is quite strong statistically and it would be widely accepted if it pertained to something more mundane, yet most scientists reject the possible reality of these abilities without ever even looking at the data! Then at the other extreme there are true believers who base their beliefs on anecdotes and personal experience. The debunkers generally won’t be convinced by any amount of data which is the shame because these abilities don’t actually contradict what we know about science, says Prof Jessica Uttis who was Chairman of Statistic Department at the University of California at Irving, and she was also the president of the American statistical Association in 2016 – the above statements are an extract from the report which she gave to the US Congress.

The concept of time is slippery for many psychologists and therefore they simply don’t believe that precognition can be real, and when leading Cornell University psychologist Darryl Bem arguably proved otherwise and  wrote his findings in a paper called ‘’Feeling the Future,” this was widely called ridiculous and his report was dispatched to the realms of “ crazy land.” Yet Seers throughout history maintain that we are influenced not only by our past but also our future. So, if one completely accepts today’s worldview as inviolate or absolute, then the strength and quality of the evidence or the size of the experiments conducted, simply don’t matter. The phenomena are considered impossible, and that’s that! Meanwhile there’s a really interesting project running for over two decades called the Global Consciousness Project, which is a worldwide version of a random number generator experiment, [RMG] where the outputs of RMG monitors located around the world are compared against long-term baselines during events of major global interest (e.g. terrorist attacks, the death of Princess Diana). This experiment differs because it doesn’t involve individuals studied in the lab but rather is a global experiment which includes everyone, and also tests not the effects of intention but rather the simultaneous focused attention of millions of people. All of the data from this project have been publicly available through its website from 1998, when the project first began. After collecting 500 worldwide events (which took 18 years, because fortunately major worldwide events don’t happen very often) the experiment had achieved an overall result above the Seven Sigma benchmark. That’s associated with odds against chance greater than 1 trillion to one.

To explore your psychic or psi abilities, go to www.psiresearch.com. To develop your abilities further go to www.moneymagnet.global/innervoice. Have fun!

If we accept that precognition is real then the traditional understanding of cause, where cause precedes the effect, is turned on its head. Since if we accept it, precognition in the future can in fact influence the present and presumably the future leaps back across time to affect the present in a time reversed flow. So scientifically this requires big paradim shift, which will require powerful evidence – this full shift to acceptance is still awaited.

Premonitions can be experienced calmly, and in my case that’s where certainty of outcome prevails, and this was the case when I predicted the outcome of a fatal car crash when I was a passenger aged 17. I survived as I had the premonition and I wedged myself on the floor behind the driver’s seat. I remember frantically shouting to the others to get down. I was miraculously cut from the wreckage, injured but alive. The others sadly were not so lucky. Sometimes things unravel as predicted and sometimes there is scope to change the future outcome. Moreover, I was delighted to read the recent Daily Mail article about Dr Mossbridge’s, conviction that science will accept precognition since this is one of my big prayers, i.e. that science, spirituality and the supernormal will become more closely aligned. Then as Nicolás Tesla said:” the day science begins to study nonphysical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.”

Are psi abilities distributed amongst the general population just like virtually any other talent? I reckon so, however the key to these abilities being developed is belief and motivation. So what are the benefits of precognition? Ignore pre-emptive flashes at your cost- as I discovered when I disregarded subtle messages saying ‘’Don’t go horse riding today, accident awaits.” After being airlifted into A+E and spending six months in a wheelchair the words hindsight is a wonderful thing really rang true. I wanted to go, so I listened to my head instead of my heart and ignored the voices at my peril! Well ultimately psi shows how interconnected we all are and how important these skills are for the evolution of humanity. Precognition can warn us of situations that are best to be avoided and thus they can keep you and those you love safe from harm, if you heed what you are being shown. Precognition can also nudge you towards situations that are for your greater benefit and lead you in the direction of your dreams and your hearts desires.

Over the years, precognition is a talent which I’ve been able to fine tune and develop. Last month my eldest daughter went on a skiing trip. About a week before she was due to leave, I became very anxious and on waking each morning I was having repeated visions of a really bad fall and not withstanding the new helmet she got for Christmas, a terrible head injury. A few days later I read in a national newspaper that the conditions in France where she was heading were very bad, and tragically there had been a number of deaths with skiers killed on ice as hard as concrete. Understandably, I felt panicked, but I talked to my daughter and asked her to ensure that her skis edges were sharpened so that they would have some bite on the ice. I asked her to be careful and cautious and not take any unnecessary risks- not to attempt to ski down the lower part of the slopes back to the resort where it would be even more icy and potentially dangerous, and generally to keep her wits about her and proceed with care. My daughters both rolled their eyes and sighed: “Here she goes again psychic Sally is ruining the skiing holiday!” Actually, on the last day my daughter was wiped out from behind by an out-of-control skier, she fell backwards, hit her head as I’d foreseen, and she was unconscious for a short while – dizzy and sick afterwards, but she survived without serious injury. She was fine and I believe that sharing the information certainly mitigated potentially very serious consequences. So, precognition is an amazing gift and I’m truly grateful for these abilities.

For my youngest daughters 18th birthday I took her for a reading with a famous psychic in London, and the psychic told me in my reading that I should focus on finishing my novel which would become an international bestseller. Indeed, it did! The novel was published April 2018 and became a bestseller in several categories, and the Audio book recently won first prize in the annual Royal Dragonfly competition.

Just in case you happened to miss the first article on precognition – be sure to check it out here: https://www.moneymagnet.global/money-magnet/precognition-real-you-be-the-judge-part-1/

You may wish to check out or previous blogs. The last four are listed below: 

Fear! Why?

Karma – More Than You Thought?

Attitude Upgrade – Part 2

Karma – It’s gonna Get Ya!  

Unravel more mysteries and learn more about precognition in the novel:

Spirit of Prophecy- the Psychic Detectives#1, by J.J. Hughes, available at Barnes and Noble, and on Amazon – Go here to easily find it: http://bit.ly/2LeRJ84

Spirit of Prophecy - Audio Book

The ability to see into the future has been recognised since ancient times when kings and ordinary people all sought access to the future via Seers, Mediums, Diviners and similar. Premonitions are a foretelling of the future, although sceptics argue they can be attributed to mere coincidence. Precognition is the ability to perceive, to see a future event through extra sensory perception (ESP) or dreams, clairvoyance, before it happens. The term is derived from the Latin pray ‘’Prae’’ meaning-‘’prior to’’ and “cognition” meaning ‘’to gain knowledge.’’ Precognition, thanks to Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce among others, holds a special place amongst psychic [psi] phenomenon which also challenges some of our beliefs about linear time and the sequence of cause and effect, hence scientists remain unconvinced. But the concept instinctively resonates with many of us. Apparently, Abraham Lincoln had a precognitive dream before his assassination. Prophets have featured in many religions from Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and these include Muhammed, Moses to name but a few, and in Roman Catholicism we encounter Fatima.

My personal experience of psi, precognition specifically, have all been related to death, or near -death incidents relating to family, friends and loved ones. In fact, this is one of the key themes in my No1 bestselling novel “Spirit of Prophecy- the Psychic Detectives #1’’ and as Rosetta the main character explains she’s: “been having the same nightmare for two weeks now belting out in her sleep like some cheap Christmas CD stuck on a loop. She knew her premonitions could go either way, and sometimes the outcome wasn’t entirely signed. sealed and delivered, so things could be prevented, altered, maybe even diverted. This was one of those.”

This has been the case with my own experiences, the first I can recall, being at the age of 14 with the death of my grandfather who had been unwell (so coincidence could be argued to some extent) and he had moved in with us so that my mum could look after him. It was an unremarkable Saturday and my younger sister, and I caught the bus into Bradford city centre to go shopping. As the bus passed the town hall, I glanced up at the clock and with a sharp intake of breath I realised that we had only 15 minutes to get back home. I dragged my protesting sister off the bus and running we caught the next one back home. As we walked around the corner into our cul-de-sac the neighbour opposite intercepted us and took us into her house.

Its granddad isn’t it, and we are too late to say goodbye to him, aren’t we? I uttered.

The neighbour looked taken aback, as Granddad sadly had suddenly died five minutes earlier of a heart attack. Consequently, with another of my subsequent premonitions which involved my brother Andrew and the neighbour’s son Graham who were going away on a holiday with a group of friends, this time she totally believed me. All of them, the other mothers relayed what I’d foreseen and warned their sons not to hire a car or drive in Turkey, their holiday destination. The group of young men followed the advice and returned home safe and sound. Praise be.

This premonition started about a month prior to their departure in a wine bar in the city where I worked and when I was out to lunch with a fellow investment banking friend. It was a dimly lit barrels and sawdust sort of spot, and as we were chatting animatedly the candle which had been firmly lodged in an old waxy wine bottle in between us, fluttered brightly, then suddenly in mid- conversation the candle literally levitated out of the bottle and ominously crashed on top of the table- the flame was abruptly snuffed out. My friend and I looked at one another and both of us swore under our breath as this was not a good omen. My friend was keen to point out that it had been me speaking at the time. What it foretold took me over a week to piece together. Meanwhile I wasn’t sleeping, and I was waking up at 1:35 AM night after night, as I tried to figure this out. I became increasingly frantic as I realised that it had something to do with my brother and a car accident. I begged my parents not to let my brother go on holiday to hide his passport; anything to stop this happening. Sensibly they managed the situation responsibly and shared the information with my brother and the rest of his friends. This worked of course, but only the disaster actually unfolding as I foresaw it would validate that the premonition that I’d had was correct – but who needs to be proved right under such ominous circumstances?

So, does precognition perceive the actual future which must occur, or a probable future that might occur? My response to that would be; both – either or.

Another premonition occurred while I was in my second year at university, I woke up one morning with the strongest gut instinct that I needed to go home ASAP. I skipped lectures and caught the train to Leeds where my bemused father picked me up. The following day I went out riding with my friend Kevin who was helping my father exercise my show jumping ponies whilst I was away at university. All seemed fine, until the next day my father banged on my bedroom door and rushed me to the stables where my 14.2hh BSJA pony Redbrooke had gone down with a really bad colic attack. The vet came out several times, but heart- breakingly this ended with a fatal twisted gut. So, it seemed that my horse had called me home to say farewell and for that I was extremely grateful.

“The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”                                        

Arthur C. Clarke

You may wish to check out some of the previous blogs in this series. The last four are listed below: 

Fear! Why? 

Karma – More Than You Thought

Attitude Upgrade – Part 2

Karma – It’s Gonna Get Ya! 

Be sure to check out Part Two of this fascinating blog on Precognition. In the meantime why not take a look at my wonderful novel, Spirit of Prophecy, which fictionalizes many of the issues I’ve been discussing in these blogs of late. It is available from here: http://bit.ly/2LeRJ84

Spirit of Prophecy - Audio Book

To fully understand fear and the crippling effect it can have on us, we first need to understand that there are two very different types of fear that we as human beings experience.

The first type of fear is that which is known as “physiological fear”. Now physiological fear is built into our genes – it is an evolutionary trait that has helped allow humanity to rise to the top of the evolutionary pyramid. Physiological fear is what alerts us to potentially life-threatening scenarios, that we can choose to ignore (and some people certainly do choose to) at our peril. What defines physiological fear is the need to react physically to it. Literally speaking physiological fear is the difference between life and death. There are some fairly obvious examples here: The fear of heights is one. A long history of people dying when they fell from high places e.g. cliff edges, has ensured that an automatic fear of heights is well ingrained in our DNA. You would not readily walk along a thin girder suspended 100 feet above the ground because your subconscious automatically knows this is not likely to be good for your long-term survival. Similarly, when you are confronted by an angry animal predator, physiological fear requires a physical action to flee and remove you from the danger you face, freeze, or, if all else fails, to stand and fight for your life.

Although some people do make a conscious decision to embrace the physiological fear and overcome it, for example mountain climbers, big wave surfers, skydivers et al, in general terms it is fair to say that physiological fear is good for us and warns us of potentially dangerous situations that we may choose, or not, to avoid. Physiological fear is a good thing – it helps to keep us alive.           

What is not such a great thing however is psychological fear. Psychological fear is not born in our DNA, but is born within our own active imagination, or as Andy Shaw likes to call it – that little monster in our head, called our ego”. Psychological fear is the most crippling and limiting aspect of our psyche. It stops us from reaching our potential in life and most importantly of all it limits the happiness and joy we can experience. In some unfortunate people psychological fear can be so great and so overpowering that it literally drives that person to a complete standstill. 

We’ve all read and heard of people who are so crippled by fear that they cannot even leave their own houses (agoraphobia), others who have a pathological fear of water (aquaphobia) and those too frightened of heights to even climb a set of stairs (acrophobia), but those with phobias this extreme are best assisted in overcoming them with professional psychological counselling and treatment.

 

For most of us the fears that cripple us are just simple psychological fears that we have allowed to become the ruling paradigms in our lives. These are fears that have been drilled into us over the years by the people we have most trusted to guide us in our lives; our parents, our siblings, our teachers, our friends, our work colleagues and indeed society in general. We have, like good and faithful dogs, been exceedingly well trained. The problem is that these fears have become so ingrained in our subconscious that they can stop us from doing things we WANT to do and even beneficial stuff, to grow as individuals and experience the awesome life that we were born to live. So, what are these fears that hold us back from achieving our greatness?                

Perhaps one of the biggest fears that prevents us from achieving our true potential is: THE FEAR OF FAILURE. How often have you thought of a great idea or considered trying a new activity, or a new hobby, even a new career and then been paralyzed by that overwhelming fear of failure? You come up with the idea – you think that’s awesome – yeah! I can do that and then what happens? 

That insane little critter in your head (your ego) starts chattering back to you:

 
  • “Just who do you think you are?”
  • “What makes you think you can do that?”
  • “You tried something like that before, remember? God, what a disaster that was!”
  • “No, you stick to your knitting – you do what you can do”
  • “Don’t you dare have the temerity to try something new – you know you’re a loser, you’re bound to fail.”
  • “Best you just go and have a beer eh and forget all about it?”

But why are we so afraid of failure? Failure is the first step on the road to success. It doesn’t matter which successful person you interview, you will always find that there is failure written in their story. In fact, many successful people literally “celebrate” their failures. Here, I particularly like the comment of Robert T Kiyosaki (Author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad); “Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure, also avoid success.”

If you are to be the greatest you that you can possibly be – you need to overcome this fear of failure. Whatever it is you want to do – you first of all need to make a start, and from then on the key is persistence. Don’t be off-put by the ego that keeps telling you, you will fail! There is an old truism – “if you don’t run the race; you can never be the winner!”

And even if you don’t succeed initially; then you will have at least gained two wonderful things:

1/ You will have the immense satisfaction of having tried something you have always wanted to try. You will have given it your absolute best and you will have grown as a person. None of these things is to be dismissed lightly, they are all part of the building blocks of success; and


2/ You will have so much more experience than you had before. The mistakes you made this particular time will serve you well in your future projects. I guarantee you, you won’t make those same mistakes again. As Heston Blumenthal said; “I learned more from my one failed restaurant than from all the successful one’s put together.” 

So don’t let the fear of failure cripple you and consign you to living a life too ordinary. You were born to excel – you were born to be great. Just take that first step down the path that you long to venture along and embrace any failures as part of the process of growing your greatness.     

What other fears hold us back from achieving our true potential in life?

A big one for many people is the fear of ridicule – of what other people will say about them and what they are doing. In this new, highly connected world it seems that for many people “appearing” good to others is their definition of their success or happiness. Why is this so? Success and happiness start and end with love – the love of one person – YOU FOR YOURSELF! Truly, what does it matter what others think of you?

The biggest problem I encounter is that instead of people loving themselves for who they are – a unique individual with talents and gifts to express – they indulge in fruitless and debilitating episodes of low self-worth and burnt out self-esteem, and then have to seek validation for themselves, from others.

If we truly love ourselves and embrace our own uniqueness with passion, then why should we need validation from anyone else? “To thine own self be true.” If we are going to spend our lives seeking acceptance/approval from others and seeking their plaudits then we will waste so many opportunities to experience the joys of life that make us happy and can fill us with bliss. Fear of what others may think or say is extremely limiting and can paralyze us from action.

YOU deserve better than that! You deserve to fulfil your own dreams and desires, not someone else’s perception of who you should be, or what you should do. Take control of your thoughts and actions, your own destiny and live for you – forget about what others have to say. The time they spend trying to drag other’s down and limit other’s potential is wasting their own opportunities to grow and experience everything that this amazing life has to offer. Don’t fall into the trap of pandering to their small-minded needs. Go out there and be the best you can be; doing the things you want to do. Dream Big and Aim High, feel the fear and do it anyway.  

The final fear I want to cover today is also a biggie for many people – the fear of the unknown; what the future might hold.

First and foremost, you need to understand that the unknown is somewhere out there, in the future. The only thing you can do to control the future is what you do TODAY – here and now.

If you focus your mind on all the potential problems and pitfalls that the future may hold for you – that is exactly what your future WILL hold. You will actually attract to yourself the very things you want to avoid.

You need to accept that you live in the PRESENT, not the past or the future and whatever you think about and do NOW, will be what your future, manifests in your life. Acceptance is key, you can’t change what has happened, but the thing you can manage is your reaction. Deep down we also need to re-program our beliefs, to say to ourselves – okay, this is tough, but what’s the lesson here for me? Then let it go, sometimes things only become clear with the passage of time, but chances are there something way better waiting for you just around the corner. So, have faith, believe in yourself and that the realization of your dreams awaits.

At any given point in time we are exactly where we are meant to be; doing exactly what we are meant to be doing; with the people we are meant to be doing it with. Don’t let the fear of the future cripple your ambitions. Embrace the present – be the person you want to be today, and tomorrow will take care of itself.      

I want to end today with a quote from one of my favourite authors, in fact the woman probably recognized as the one person who introduced the “Law of Attraction” to the masses – Rhonda Byrne. She says in her book The Power; “You were meant to have an amazing life – you were not born to struggle… what then would be the point of your life?”

I couldn’t agree more. We all have within us the potential to achieve greatness, whether it be just within ourselves, within our families, within our community or indeed within the world. We are not limited by anything except our own choices and our own fears.

 

TIME TO NOTCH UP INTO THE FEARLESS GEAR THEN!

 

You may wish to visit some of our previous blogs. The last four are listed below: 

Karma – More Than You Thought? 

Attitude Upgrade – Part 2

Attitude Upgrade – Part 1 

Karma – It’s Gonna Get Ya! 

 

Spirit of Prophecy - Audio Book

Be sure to pop on over to my fiction section of this website where you can check out my amazing novel; Spirit of Prophecy, which explores, in a fictional narrative, many of the topics I cover in my blogs. If you love “whodunits”, or you’re crazy about horses, or you just like a paranormal twist in your novels, Spirit of Prophecy is just the book for you. http://bit.ly/2LeRJ84