What is the tie-in between self-love and “new thought”?
We now know what self-love is all about, so perhaps we better define “new thought” a bit more.
New thought was a philosophy that began in the early mid-nineteenth century that postulated the idea of “healthy mindedness” as well as a healthy body. It was a spiritual movement with its roots in metaphysical beliefs. It grew out of existing Christian beliefs, especially those of a Calvinist origin. New thought’s basic premise was; “that anything that exists in the mind and could be expressed through words had the ability to transcend the physical and be realized through individual thoughts and intuition.”
Many philosophers and thinkers of the time latched onto “new thought” as expressing their belief in the universality of humanity and whilst still accepting a higher power, they attributed that higher power to the Universe rather than some arbitrary human construct, such as God, Yaweh, Allah, or whatever it might be.
Perhaps, for most of us today, “new thought” only came to the forefront of our consciousness in 2006 with the world-wide streaming of Rhonda Byrne’s movie and later book, “The Secret”. It was at this time the idea of the Law of Attraction and New Thought actually swept across the world. Rhonda would be the first to admit that her movie was espousing nothing new, but rather sharing the “secret” that she had discovered from reading a one-hundred-year-old book by Wallace Wattles, titled, The Science of Getting Rich. So, although Rhonda’s epiphany may have seemed startling, exciting, and new to a whole new generation of adherents, the basic principles that made up the new thought philosophy had been around and discussed for many years.
Joseph Campbell:
One adherent to the new thought philosophy was Joseph Campbell. An American author and editor who lived from 1904 to 1987, Joseph Campbell is best known for his works on comparative mythologies across the world. He examined the universal functions and impacts of myths in various cultures and mythical figures across a wide range of different literature from all over the world.
For me, however, it was his pronouncements and quotes that have the greatest effect and inspiration. We talked last week about the greatest way to love yourself is to find your true path in life – that which you were gifted; those unique and special talents that we’ve been talking about. Joseph Campbell’s simple quote, for me, sums up perfectly what we need to do, as individuals, if we are to achieve the self-realization, self-actualization and self-love that we both seek and deserve.
“Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
Joseph Campbell
Such a simple phrase – “follow your bliss” but one that is guaranteed to put you where you (a) want to be and (b) where you belong.
Follow Your Bliss:
What is bliss?
Bliss is a concept that almost defies description. It is vast, boundless, immeasurable AND it is a totally different state, for every single person and that is the key. Bliss must be personally experienced to understand what it is for YOU. Bliss exists on an entirely different dimension to simple happiness – it is so much more than that. It is a state where the sense of ego slips away and a feeling of total connectedness takes over. When you are in a state of bliss there is no sense of “me”, separate from the rest of creation – there is just joy and peace.
Perhaps the best definition I’ve heard of bliss is doing something where time, the environment, and everything around you fades away into the background and only the thing you are currently focused on matters anymore. This is the way I feel when I’m writing these blogs, or my novels, so, for me, a state of bliss is attained when I am writing. For everyone it will be different and you need to focus on what gives you bliss and then find a way to relate that to today’s environment and a way to “follow your bliss” that also rewards you financially for doing so. Remember what Richard Branson said about not doing what he did for the money, but for the fun and the challenge. But that when he had fun, invariably the money followed.
If there is one guaranteed way to achieve the self-love and satisfaction that we all seek, that is it.
“If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.”
Joseph Campbell
Simply put, if you do things that you are passionate about, you’ll feel more alive and doors will open for you.
New Thought and Self-Talk:
We’ve talked a lot in the last few blogs about the importance to our well-being of our own self-talk. Regardless of the reasons for us having a low opinion of ourselves, so many of us do and we are continually berating ourselves for not measuring up to either our or others opinions or expectations of us. When we denounce ourselves, we are doing serious harm to our self-esteem and self-worth.
This is particularly cogent when we look at new thought beliefs. One of the core beliefs of this new thought philosophy is expressed in the concept that; “thoughts are things”. One of the best known of the new thought authors is Napoleon Hill and perhaps his most famous quote was:
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
I’m sure that will right now be resonating with readers of this blog. What an inspirational quote – if we act and think positively, with respect to self-love and self-talk, we can create whatever we desire and need. If thoughts are things and we can achieve whatever we conceive and believe in, if we don’t believe in ourselves, we will create exactly what we believe in and constantly tell ourselves – that we are hopeless, we are a failure, we can’t do anything right, or what’s the point in even trying if we’re just going to mess it up?
That, in a nutshell is why positive self-talk and believing in ourselves and our unique abilities is so important. If we don’t – we are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy through the Law of Attraction. Remember the mirror exercise from recent blogs. We really need to practice that – we need to be able to look in the mirror and say; “I am an awesome human being, I can achieve anything I set my mind to, I am capable, I am special, I am unique, I am… (fill in the blank).
There are so many people in this world today who are quick to try to bring you down, to scoff at your achievements and to belittle you or even withhold applause or praise. Congratulations, and celebrations are so important – always look for things to appreciate in yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back and a high five whenever you make constructive progress or take positive action. Self-love is also about moving away from lower [on an energetic sphere] feelings / emotions such as shame – guilt – anger – judgement and so on, and raising your vibration, instead.
We hope you’ll review this series from time to time and deploy some of the tips on a regular basis. It is your duty to yourself to remind yourself that you are better than all of that, that you are special and unique, that you are wonderful. If you don’t believe it, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?
I hope you have realized over these last four blogs why self-love, self-care, self-awareness is so important to us, as human beings and what we can do to ensure that we do love ourselves properly and look after ourselves so that we are able to utilize those special and unique talents that make us who we are. I want to leave you today, with a special quote that neatly sums up everything we’ve been discussing over these last four weeks.
“You can’t hate yourself happy. You can’t criticize yourself thin. You can’t shame yourself worthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care.”
– Jessica Ortner
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Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light
In my three recent blogs on happiness, I gave you some simple, yet very effective, practical steps you can take to ensure that you make that choice of happiness every single moment of your day. 
Maintain an attitude of GRATITUDE. Most of us think we are grateful people but when we sit down and analyse it, are we really? How quick are you to blame other people when things go wrong? How often do you say, “why me, what did I do to deserve this?” or “damn, nothing good ever happens to me”.
“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is, thank you, it will be enough.”
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is fear that is good and legitimate. It is what we know as the “fight or flight” response. When we are in potentially lethal situations, we have imprinted into our DNA an automatic fear that is meant to save us from these dangers. I’m not suggesting, for a second, that we get into a cage with a tiger, or try to cross a gorge on a thin tightrope (unless that’s your thing, of course). No, what I am talking about here is psychological fear – the type of fear that stops us from achieving our true potential as human beings.
So, forget that wild little ego chatter, forget what people will say (who cares?), and forget your innate sense of failure – failure is and has always been a crucial building block in success. Very few people get it “right” first time – but here’s the rub; if you don’t participate in the race, you sure can’t win it. You want to do all these things; whatever they are. They are the things that give you passion, joy, excitement and achievement – and it is your right to do them; but if you don’t even try because you are paralyzed by memories of past failures, you have condemned yourself to nothing more than mere existing.
In the immortal words of Mr. Nike,
You are incredibly special – you are a unique individual who has creative talents and abilities that nobody else that has ever lived or will ever live, has. When we realize that we are limitless in our potential then we actually can change the world. If we live to our own potential and continue to grow – if we become who we really are, instead of a facade or a mask that we put on every morning, we will live a life that is infinitely happier and more joyous than we do now. Imagine the effect of that on your loved ones, your work colleagues, your friends. They will marvel at this free, happy, contented you and as in the famous line from; “When Harry Met Sally”, they also will exclaim:
Life is SUPPOSED to be wonderful: This is absolutely true and for many, something that is equally hard to accept. Many of us were brought up in an environment where there was a scarcity of everything, where Mum and Dad (or whoever was responsible for us) worked relentlessly hard every hour in the day, 24/7, just to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. We grew up with the mind-set that life was hard, that nothing came easy, and that we would always struggle to make ends meet in this cruel, unforgiving world. The problem with that type of thinking is this: “Thoughts are things and they create the reality of the world around us “ If we believe life is hard and an eternal struggle, then that is what life will be. Let us aim to adjust our thinking, to believe in abundance and more specifically in abundance for US, personally. There’s a quote from Rhonda Byrne in her seminal work, “The Magic”, that I think describes this paradox perfectly.
Attitude is EVERYTHING: Your attitude determines what you think about, your emotional state, and your beliefs. What you think about, your beliefs, and your emotional state absolutely determines what will come into your life in the way of circumstances and people. Positive thoughts, positive emotions and positive actions will lead to an upgrade of positive outcomes. The reverse, is of course, equally true. This is an immutable law of the Universe – this is Newton’s Third Law of Thermodynamics – for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sometimes called Karma, it’s really quite simple; what you put out there into the Universe is what you’ll get back, from the Universe. What goes around, comes around.
LOVE is the ultimate power of the Universe: Almost every single leader, teacher, philosopher, and prophet, throughout history, has had the same basic message for us – LOVE one another. (The Golden Rule). There’s a reason for that – they knew the “secret”, they understood that love is the most powerful force in the Universe and that all positive things in life come from love, whilst all negative things, come from a lack of love. What an incredible shame it is, that we, humanity, have chosen to largely ignore this simple precept in favour of other dogma that suits our EGO, our plans, our ambitions, or our need for dominance over others.
The PRESENT is absolutely all that really matters to us. We cannot change what happened yesterday – yes we can apologise for our mistakes, perhaps try to atone for them but we cannot change what we did, how we reacted, or what we said. Yesterday is gone. Similarly, why waste our precious time worrying about the future, about what might happen, what potential pitfalls lie ahead? We make our own future by the way we think, act and react today! We are the masters of our own destiny, if only we realise it.
There is a reason why love has always been at the centre of all great religions and faiths. Simply put, love is the ultimate power in the Universe. Everything good, joyful and wonderful in this world, and in our lives, is brought about by love. Everything negative, sad and destructive in the world and in our lives, is brought about simply; by a lack of love, lack of compassion and compounded by fear. The key to success and happiness is to “FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE”. Yes, love is an emotion, and probably the most powerful of all emotions, but it is so much more than that – it is a force, a power that drives our very existence. If it were not for love, we would not even exist. It was the poet Robert Browning who said; “Take away love and our earth is a tomb”. If the force of love were to disappear from the earth tomorrow, humanity would dwindle and eventually die out.
What allows these exceptional achievers to reach the heights that they reach is exactly the same thing that resides in each and every one of us. We are complete – there is nothing missing in us or in our makeup. We all have, inside of us, the tools and abilities to achieve anything we desire and indeed to share our gifts and be of service and assistance to others. The key to success is in understanding and harnessing the greatest power in the Universe – Love!
I’m guessing here that there are some people reading this who are thinking; “Hmmm, you’re very good at throwing clichés around, but how exactly am I supposed to ‘fall in love with life’?” Well, that’s what I’m here for; to give practical, simple steps to achieve our ultimate goal of being happy. So, how do you “fall in love with life”? You fall in love with life in the same way you fall in love with another; initially you adore everything about them, you see only good things in that person, then over time you notice the negative things in that person; you may openly point these things out and air things if they are too serious to ignore, but in the main you focus on the positives.
Don’t criticize, judge or gossip about others. That is not giving love! There is so much to love about everyone we meet; if we look always for the positive in people. We don’t know their stories and we can only change one person – ourselves; so, “live and let live!”
We live on a gorgeous, beautiful, planet with plentiful [but not unlimited] resources. Does an apple tree decide who is worthy of getting to eat its apples? No of course not. When we, as a human race, fully embrace the concept of loving each other, embracing and celebrating our differences rather than fearing or hating them – we will have shifted the Earth, [Gaia] into vibrating at a higher and way more harmonious level. Lower emotions like fear, hatred, judgement, revenge and lack of compassion/empathy make the shadows darker, the light deserves our focus and joyous intentions. Be part of the movement to change and upgrade our world, by changing yourself. You can, do and will make a difference.
The possibility of lasting happiness has been researched by experimental psychologist Sonia Lyubomirsky. She found that happiness, through materialism, wears off like the new car smell, that soon gets stale. Plus, as soon as you drive that new car out of the show room its value depreciates too! The short- term excitement associated with getting a new car, is a good analogy. Studies of twins and adoptees have shown that about 50% of each person’s happiness is determined from birth, this is called your genetic setpoint and this alone makes the happiness glass look half empty, because any upward swing in happiness seems doomed to fall back to your baseline setpoint. So, if you think of this as a pie: half the pie is the genetic setpoint, the smallest slice of the pie, 10% is circumstances and the remaining 40% – what is that? Well, that’s the stuff that we can control and crucially – change: our thoughts, beliefs, and outlook.
Say hi to your neighbours, offer to help an elderly person who lives nearby.
Look at a picture of yourself as child and ask, “Okay, let’s do something silly and fun, what do you have in mind?’’
Initial results with positive ‘Be Happy” interventions have been promising but sustaining them is tough, so instilling habits is ideal. Another key is the fit or how well the exercise or practice matches the person because if it feels contrived and you’re forcing it against your grain you’ll be less likely to do it anyway. However, the biggest factor may be getting over the idea that happiness is fixed and realising instead that sustained effort can boost it. One of the things that repeatedly came up in studies was that it’s not necessarily money that makes you happier, in fact in studies of rich people the levels of happiness were not greater, in fact when psychologists study what makes people happy they find that being kind to others makes people happier and people only need moments of compassion to build upon because there is the positive feedback loop: when you do a kind deed you become happier which makes it more likely that you’ll do another kind act like help your neighbour carry in their groceries or take your mum out for lunch. The central idea now is that practising compassion to be happy replaces the old material and accomplishment driven concept of getting more is better. The old energy and way of doing things was to strive for money and acquire things and take practical steps to get there, to obtain this or that – an endless shopping list, perhaps? Now times are shifting, and we’re about to become less materialistic and more aware of sustainability, giving something back rather than just taking.
Another reason for revisiting happiness is that it is a desirable state, since it raises our vibration, and everything is energy after all. Philosophers, since the very dawn of time have sought the answer to that most fundamental of questions – Why are we here? The answers their deep thinking and varied hypotheses have come up with are as disparate as we, as individuals, are. Having read and studied many of these philosopher’s arguments, it has always seemed to me that there are some over-arching themes – we, as individuals, are meant overall to be happy. If we accept, as I do, that we are spiritual beings merely undertaking this human journey, then we intuitively know that this life is not the be-all and end-all of existence. This human experience is just one small journey on our spiritual travels.
You could certainly argue, looking at the top ten countries on the list, that wealth and prosperity plays a big part in this happiness – but if that was the case, why isn’t the United States or even the oil-rich Gulf States on the top of that list. The US actually ranks at No. 18, and Saudi Arabia comes in at No. 33. Wealth also doesn’t explain why a relatively poor country like Costa Rica came in at 13th on the list or Mexico and Chile at 24th and 25th respectively. Certainly, the top ten countries on the list are all western, progressive, liberal democracies, which may go some way to telling us that this is the political flavour under which happiness can flourish well. They, in the main, have very generous social programs, and employment is very pro-family.
Canada, New Zealand and Australia, as Commonwealth colonies, have always had a reputation for “punching above their weight” in world affairs. I think the same isolationism experienced by the Scandinavians and the need to prove themselves on the world stage, especially to their ex-colonial masters be it in global conflict, in sport, or in technological innovation, is what has propelled these countries both to be self-sufficient and innately happy, as a people. The Netherlands, of course, is a country born of the sea. The Dutch people have had to struggle for survival from the relentless encroachment of their land, by the sea (which is only being exacerbated by climate change) as well as aggression from neighbours. Again, this collective self-sufficiency shines through, whilst relying on themselves but having a sense of community and cohesion at the same time, the “Happy Nations” are plugging into the bio-feedback loop.
CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY – today, tomorrow and every day from now on.
BUT truly it doesn’t matter to me. I write this blog first and foremost because it is my passion – it’s what makes me happy – It is one of my happy places that I love to visit. I don’t need the validation of others to make this exercise worthwhile for me. Of course, I’m human and I love it when someone takes the time to tell me that I touched them, or I made a difference (and a couple have, which is amazing) but the bottom line is, if the only person that ever read this was me, I’d still be happy. I want to make a difference in my own small way; but my worth and my happiness is not dependent on the validation of other people, or their opinions of what I do. 
