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How Can I Love Myself - Awakening Alchemy

As we’ve seen over the past two weeks, learning to love ourselves is one of the most important things we can do for our own self-confidence, self-esteem, and general wellbeing. If we are to have any chance of achieving the happiness we so richly deserve, as unique and wonderful human beings, I hope you will agree with me by now, we need first to love ourselves. We’ve seen all the impediments to achieving the self-love and self-care that are our birthright. You might actually be thinking, by this point, that the deck is very much stacked against us!

The Wind Beneath My Wings - Awakening Alchemy Well, I’m here to tell you that is absolutely untrue! We have everything we need, inside of us, to achieve the self-love and happiness that we owe ourselves. Even more importantly, I have some incredibly easy practical steps to begin our journey of wiping out the past and building a new future through the things we say, think, and believe, today.

All those years of negativity from others and even from yourself have to be wiped away and dealt with. You need to learn the secret to LOVING YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY! As with any improvement in our lives the first step is easy – You need to make a conscious decision to love yourself. I know this may sound self-evident but you’d be surprised at how many people try to improve their lives but forget this most basic of actions – MAKE A DECISION! By choosing to love yourself unconditionally you are triggering a couple of things.

  1. You are telling your subconscious that this is real and you are going to do this, so you begin the process of ingraining the new affirmation into your subconscious and to begin wiping away all the negative programming that has built up over the years. (Remember though, from last week – this conscious decision will kick that little maniacal ego into action, to begin working against your decision, so you will need to be aware of this and ready to counter it).
  2. You are making a commitment, to yourself, to take full and complete responsibility for the outcomes in your life – to stop blaming others, the Universe, or just life in general, for anything negative that comes into your world. You are promoting yourself to the exalted rank of CAPTAIN of your own ship, in the sea of life.

“No other love no matter how genuine it is, can fulfil one’s heart better than unconditional self-love.”

– Edmond Mbiaka

 

Long-Term Structural Steps to Achieve Self-Love:

  • Unconditional Love of Yourself - Awakening Alchemy Fall in Love with Yourself: We’ve talked about this idea of “falling in love with yourself”, in previous blogs. Stop berating yourself for things you perceive as being your faults or shortcomings. We all do this – we focus on what we don’t like about ourselves instead of all the amazing things that make us the incredible individual we truly are. Be kind, be gentle, be loving to yourself. Think about it this way – we are taught from early on to be nice to other people, to praise them and not to criticize them. Why then, should it be any less for us, the most important person in the Universe, to be kind and compassionate to ourselves? It’s insane that we consistently drag ourselves down instead of building ourselves up.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: Make it a habit to praise yourself every single day and DON’T be embarrassed by it. One of the absolute best ways to do this is using the “mirror technique”. How many of you hate looking at yourself in the mirror? I know many of you will have bashfully put your hand up to that one. You need to face yourself, daily, look into your own eyes and tell yourself a host of positive affirmations. “I am amazing. I can do anything I choose to do. I am a unique being with unique talents. I am wonderful. I am capable. I am… (fill in the blank). Make it a habit to do this regularly, multiple times a day, if you can. Two things will happen – one, you’ll shut up that crazy ego inside your head and two, your subconscious will assimilate your positive affirmations and begin to believe them and more importantly, actively support them.
  • Acknowledge Your Achievements: So often we forget to acknowledge or reward our achievements. We are the first to jump up and down and celebrate other’s achievements but we forget all about ourselves. That’s just plain wrong – we are as worthy of praise as anyone, so make sure you give yourself some. Celebrate your effort, regardless of the outcome of what you were doing. You tried!
  • Forgive Yourself: So often we carry this immense burden on our shoulders from our past actions or decisions. It’s time to let it all go – forgive yourself. What happened in the past cannot be changed, so let it go. If you need to apologize to someone, by all means, do so but then move on.

 

“Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.”

Miguel Angel Ruiz

 

  • Gratitude Makes You Beautiful - Awakening Alchemy Express and Feel Deep Gratitude: Gratitude is so important to improving our feelings about ourselves. Be grateful for who you are, for your strengths and gifts. If you feel blessed it is so much easier to look at yourself with positive eyes and positive thoughts. You are alive, you are living on a blessed planet and you are capable of making an immense difference in your life. What a lot to be grateful for!
  • Cherish Your Dreams: Dream big – aim for the stars. Why deny your dreams? So many of us bury our dreams beneath a blanket of responsibilities, lack of time, financial worries, other’s expectations, our own insecurities – but why should we? Our dreams are what keep us striving to achieve, to be happy, to lead the life we really want. If you give up on your dreams, you give up on life. It reminds me of the title of a popular comedy series in Britain a few years ago. If you give up your dreams you are just; “Waiting for God”.

 

“Don’t die with the music still in you.”

Dr Wayne Dyer

 

Quick Practical Steps for Change:

  • Sleep Properly: Getting a good night’s sleep is imperative if you are going to wake up in the morning refreshed, excited, and raring to go. It’s a lot harder to love yourself, if you are tired, grumpy, restless. One really great habit to get into is to fall asleep reciting your positive affirmations from the “mirror exercise” earlier. The subconscious is at its most receptive as you drift off to sleep.
  • Healthy Eating is Critical - Awakening Alchemy Eat Properly: There’s nothing wrong with “treating” yourself, rewarding yourself for something you did or tried (in fact that is to be encouraged) but limit the treats and you’ll appreciate them more. A balanced, healthy diet, will make a balanced, healthy, you.
  • Spend “Alone Time” with yourself to think and maybe meditate: This is where you’ll really begin to discover the “real” you – the one that’s been hidden behind the giant wall of years of mental conditioning and negative self-talk. When you discover the “real” you, trust me, you will fall in love with yourself.
  • Exercise Regularly: Easy to say, hard to do. Don’t we know it? So, start easy – go for a walk in the morning and soak up the beauty that surrounds you. We all know that when we exercise we release endorphins and endorphins make us feel great about ourselves and the world around us, so gently exercising is a massive boost to our self-love.
  • Thank yourself and those around you regularly: Nobody is an island. As Sir Isaac Newton once said; “if I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.” We have much to be grateful for from others but don’t forget to thank yourself, also, for being the wonderful person you are.
  • Allow Yourself Time to Play: As adults, we often forget that we still need to play, also. “All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.” Spend some time EVERY single day doing something you absolutely love. It may be something as simple as sitting in the garden with a cup of tea, reading a good book. Whatever it is that spins your wheels – make sure you do it for yourself and your own wellbeing.
  • Stay Away from Bad Habits: The two biggest bad habits to stay away from: 1. Self-criticism and 2. Criticism of Others (Gossiping).
  • Stay Away from Toxic Influences: The most toxic influence you need to avoid is people who bring you down. I’m always amazed that so often we are drawn to people (they become our best friends) who constantly belittle us and bring us down. Why is that? If someone is constantly bringing you down, you need to jettison that person from your life, no matter how close they are. You are here to live YOUR life, for YOU, nobody else. Love yourself enough to let go of anyone who creates negativity in your life.

 

Enjoy Aloneness With Yourself - Awakening Alchemy Finally, today, I’d like to introduce you to a concept I’ll be talking about a lot in next week’s blog on Self-Love and the “New Thought” movement; the notion of “following your bliss”. This concept was first brought to our consciousness by 20th Century mythologist, writer, and philosopher, Joseph Campbell.

Following your bliss is a vital part of the journey to self-love, self-fulfilment and self-actualisation. I’ll see you then.

If you enjoyed this Blog and would like to read more spiritual and metaphysical issues plus lots more besides, please do join our website and you will receive a notice whenever a new blog is posted, as well as special promotions and the opportunity to win prizes. We will never spam you, though. You can join here: 

If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

You may also wish to avail yourself of our fantastic FREE report: 3 Proven Ways to Pull More Prosperity to You in 30 Days. You can grab your copy of this here:

Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:  

 

Spirit of Prophecy Audio Book - Awakening Alchemy

Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light

 

Why Is Self-Love Important? Banner - Awakenoing Alchemy

Welcome back to a new month. We hope you enjoyed our voyage of discovery into the amazing world of crystals last month. This month we will be tackling an incredibly important and fascinating subject in our mental, physical and spiritual development and growth as individuals – that of self-love. We will look at defining self-love and its importance to our lives. We will also look at some of the impediments to successful self-love and how to overcome them, plus we will touch on some practical steps you can put in place to achieve a satisfactory level of self-love and finally we will look at self-love as a “way of life”, particularly as how it applies to “new thought” doctrines.

What is Self-Love?

Perhaps it’s best if we start by defining what self-love is NOT:

Self-love is NOT narcissism and self-love is NOT arrogance, NOR overbearing pride.

Shadow Woman Making Herat With Her Hands - Awakening Alchemy Self-love is analogous to self-care and many people prefer to use the term self-care precisely because of those negative connotations that are sometimes ascribed to the term, self-love. However, whatever you call it self-love can best be summed up in the following affirmation: “self-love is the understanding and belief that I am a unique human being with talents and abilities that nobody who has ever lived or will ever live, possesses. I am worthy of love, I am worthy of respect and I am the equal of any person, anywhere.”

That definition may sound a bit daunting to those of us who suffer from self-doubt or consider ourselves innately shy and reticent but trust me – “you are an incredible human being who is blessed and talented”. We all are, which is why self-love is important to our own self-esteem and beliefs.

If you have doubts – well, let’s just listen, for a minute, to some of the greatest leaders, teachers and visionaries who ever walked the earth and really absorb what they are saying about YOU:

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

Buddha (Leader of Buddhism)

 

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Lecturer, Essayist & Philosopher)

 

“If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.”

Wayne Dyer (New Thought Author)

 

“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You only have to come to it, to realise it.”

Osho Rajneesh (Indian Spiritual Leader)

 

Maya Angelou Quote: Love Liberates - Awakening Alchemy “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.”

Maya Angelou (American poet, writer and activist)

 

 

For me, personally, the whole concept of self-love is perfectly encapsulated in a quote from Rhonda Byrne in her seminal work, The Secret:

“Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others … love yourself and you will be loved.”

Why is Self-Love Important:  

As each year passes, life it seems gets busier and busier. We live in the age of technology, of labour-saving devices, of instant communication and yet, somehow, we seem to have less and less time to devote to the most important thing in our lives – ourselves. How many of you reading this are nodding your heads, sagely and thinking, “yep, you got that right, for sure”. Whether it is our work, our partner, our children, our community groups, our commitments to others, we seem to have little or no ability to spend time with ourselves and more importantly, time to love and pamper ourselves.

Quote: Love Is All You Need - Awakening Alchemy Self-love, or self-care, if you prefer, is critical to our physical, mental and spiritual health and yet we invariably CHOOSE to put it at the bottom of our priority list. Why is that? Are we not important enough to put ourselves at the top of our priority list? The truth is – many of us think we are not and I’ll go into why that is so and how to overcome these impediments in our next blog on this topic, however, for now it is important to understand that we are the ones making the CHOICE to ignore our own needs for the needs of others – we are the ones who control our own lives and yet we choose not to and do so at our peril.

Even from the standpoint of putting others in our lives first, self-love is critical. How can we be effective and helpful to our employers, our family, our partner and everyone else in our life if we neglect our own health and well-being? Not taking care of ourselves leaves us depleted, ineffective and lacking energy. What good are we to others in that condition? When we are physically, mentally or spiritually exhausted we struggle to keep our relationships fresh, healthy and vibrant. Over time this will chip away at our self-esteem and confidence.

Simply put, self-love means accepting who you are, completely and fully, always aware that you are a unique, vibrant and special human being who has much to offer to the world. By treating yourself with kindness and respect, you truly will begin to grow, mature and develop that self-esteem and confidence you always dreamed of having. People with confidence and self-esteem don’t get given it by others, it comes from within – the power is inside of you.

What many people fail to grasp about self-love is that it isn’t just about “pampering” yourself – taking yourself out for a treat or giving yourself a bonus (although those are good things in their own right), no, self-love goes much deeper than the surface and deeper than those things of this world. Self-love encompasses what you think about yourself – your thoughts and beliefs about who you are and what you are. If you are continually complaining to yourself about your body shape, or comparing yourself, detrimentally, to others, you are not practicing self-love. When someone “burns” you with a nasty comment about your body, your looks, your intelligence, your work performance, or just your mere existence as a human being – it hurts, right? It damages you, right? Well it shouldn’t and here’s why: What anyone thinks or says about you is irrelevant – it’s just their opinion and you shouldn’t give a toss about what they think of you. The only thing that really matters is what you think of yourself.

Picture of Former First Lady: Eleanor Roosevelt - Awakening Alchemy “No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt (American First Lady)

Loving yourself and believing in yourself doesn’t mean you will always feel positive about yourself. We all have self-doubts creeping in from time to time as that pernicious little gremlin in our heads (our ego) keeps reminding us of our past failures and our past beliefs. No, feeling temporarily angry, upset, or disappointed with yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself anymore. I mean, you get angry with your children or your partner from time to time but do you stop loving them? Of course not! And the same applies to yourself. What we need to do is to cultivate an environment and a meticulous habit of loving ourselves.

The Mental-Health Benefits of Self-Love:

We live in a fast-paced world that often seems scary and out of control. It is so easy to allow ourselves to be sucked into the vortex of despair and fear that the events around us seem to be conspiring to create. Our mental health can suffer dramatically because of this – we only need to look at the suicide and attempted suicide rates worldwide to realise that, for many, this world has simply become too hard for them to cope with.

World Health Organisation Logo - Awakening Alchemy The World Health Organisation presents us with some incredibly sobering statistics: They estimate that approximately one million people commit suicide every single year – that’s a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds – horrifying, isn’t it? Worse, they predict that by 2020 it will be one death every 20 seconds.

  • In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide.
  • Suicide is now one of the top three leading cause of death for both sexes aged: 15-44.
  • Suicide attempts are estimated at 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.
  • Mental health disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all suicide cases.

As a world-wide society we are becoming sicker and the reason, to me, is fairly obvious: As a people, in the pursuit of some overarching societal expectations and goals, we have completely forgotten to love ourselves first and foremost and to follow our own dreams, goals and desires. Simply put – we’ve forgotten to “follow our bliss”. (Much more about this in later blogs)

Simple Practical Steps to Achieve Self-Love:

(I’ll go into this in much greater detail in Blog Three of this series, but for now, I’ll just give you some food for thought on how you can begin this journey to self-love).

  • Silhouette of Two People Jumping For Joy at Sunset -  Awakening Alchemy Say positive things to yourself (“I am unique – I am amazing”)
  • Forgive yourself if you mess up (We all mess up – we shouldn’t unduly berate ourselves over it)
  • Prioritize your own health and well-being (Put your own oxygen mask on first)
  • Don’t let others take advantage of you (Your time is as precious as theirs)
  • Don’t let people denigrate you (Don’t respond – just laugh and walk away)
  • Spend time around positive, supportive people (You are the sum of your five best friends)
  • Ask for help, if you need it (It’s not weak to ask for help – it’s strong)
  • If you hurt someone – apologise (An apology is NEVER a sign of weakness)
  • Let go of anger and never hold a grudge (Anger hurts you – never the person you are angry at!)
  • Treat yourself occasionally (especially healthy treats – you deserve them!)
  • Accept that you are not perfect and love yourself anyway

I’ll finish today with one of the best quotes I know to sum up this whole area of self-love, self-care, self-belief, and self-esteem. It’s a quote from Richard P Feynman, an American theoretical physicist who was part of the Manhattan Project which developed the first nuclear bomb.

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” 

Next week we will look, in much more depth, at the impediments to self-love. What stops us from achieving what I hope you will now agree is an important level – the ability to love ourselves, in all our uniqueness and all our flaws? You won’t want to miss that.

If you enjoyed this Blog and would like to read more spiritual and metaphysical issues plus lots more besides, please do join our website and you will receive a notice whenever a new blog is posted, as well as special promotions and the opportunity to win prizes. We will never spam you, though. You can join here:

If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

You may also wish to avail yourself of our fantastic FREE report: 3 Proven Ways to Pull More Prosperity to You in 30 Days. You can grab your copy of this here:

Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:

Quote: Think It, Believe It, Do It - Awakening Alchemy

Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light

 

 

 

 

Roman Pillar Ruins Banner - Awakening Alchemy

Carrying on from our previous blog on the seven pillars of a purpose-driven and heartfelt life, I want to bring you the final three pillars that I sincerely hope will make as much a difference in your life, as they have in mine.


Happiness is a Choice

HAPPINESS is a choice. Many of us spend so much time feeling miserable or sorry for ourselves that we forget this simple truism that happiness really is a choice – it’s one we make every day. I hear so many people proclaiming they’ll be happy when… the mortgage is paid off, I buy that new house, the kids graduate, we retire, we travel, I get that promotion… on and on, ad infinitum. What a total waste of their time – to feel lousy, miserable, and sad, for the short time that we have on this earth. As I’ve mentioned in the past, we are spiritual beings embarking on a human journey. Surely, surely, we want that journey to be a happy and fulfilling one – I know I do.

Happy Girl Juxtaposed next to a Sad Boy - Awakening Alchemy  In my three recent blogs on happiness, I gave you some simple, yet very effective, practical steps you can take to ensure that you make that choice of happiness every single moment of your day. You can find the first of these blogs here: Be sure to check them out.

There’s a wonderful quote that sums this up and puts it very succinctly and perfectly:

“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”                     

Ben Sweetman


Maintain an Attitude of Gratitude

Silhouette of Person on Hilltop Pleading With The Universe - Awakening Alchemy  Maintain an attitude of GRATITUDE. Most of us think we are grateful people but when we sit down and analyse it, are we really? How quick are you to blame other people when things go wrong? How often do you say, “why me, what did I do to deserve this?” or “damn, nothing good ever happens to me”.

Why is gratitude so critical?

“Gratitude is the rich soil, in which our future grows.”

Lisa Nichols

Clichéd ? Perhaps, but there is a reason why clichés become imbedded in our consciousness – at their core, there is always a kernel of truth, a veritable gem or nugget of wisdom we can hang our hats on. The way we think, speak, and act today, directly impacts on where we will be tomorrow. If living in the present is one of the keys to a successful and happy life (and it is) then gratitude is a massively important part of that process.

We live in a world of duality and in every bad situation, there is always something positive that can be taken from it. Granted, in this sometimes seemingly cruel and violent world it can be difficult to find that kernel of positivity in every bad situation or event, but it is definitely there. We owe it to ourselves and our future happiness to find it and to be grateful for it.

A Young Woman Praying in Church - Awakening Alchemy “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is, thank you, it will be enough.”

Meister Eckhart: 13th Century German theologian, philosopher and mystic.


Fear Less

Fear less! So often, in our daily lives, we rob ourselves of experiencing joy and fulfilment for one simple reason, we are afraid! We are afraid of trying something new, or afraid of being ridiculed by our friends, or simply afraid of failure. What an absolute waste!

Man Crossing a High Valley on a Tightrope - Awakening Alchemy Now, don’t get me wrong, there is fear that is good and legitimate. It is what we know as the “fight or flight” response. When we are in potentially lethal situations, we have imprinted into our DNA an automatic fear that is meant to save us from these dangers. I’m not suggesting, for a second, that we get into a cage with a tiger, or try to cross a gorge on a thin tightrope (unless that’s your thing, of course). No, what I am talking about here is psychological fear – the type of fear that stops us from achieving our true potential as human beings.

How often have you seen some new activity, sport, or recreation and immediately thought, “oooh, I’d love to give that a go,” but seconds after that thought, your mind (actually, it’s that insane little character in your head, known as your ego) begins to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t even consider trying something new. Your ego craves stability, hates change and more than anything else in the world just wants you to plod on through life never trying anything new or exciting.

It’s time to break out of that timid shell and embrace all the excitement and joy that surrounds you. Why shouldn’t you; try ballroom dancing, jump out of an aeroplane, play bridge, write a book, take that trip to Greece… whatever it is that takes your fancy, why shouldn’t you? Almost all the things we were worrying about happening, this time last year, never actually happened, so why did we waste so much time worrying about them? As for what other people might think about what you do – why is that so important to you? At the end of the day we can only control one thing and one thing only – ourselves.

Woman in Business Suit Jumps For Joy, Outside - Awakening Alchemy So, forget that wild little ego chatter, forget what people will say (who cares?), and forget your innate sense of failure – failure is and has always been a crucial building block in success. Very few people get it “right” first time – but here’s the rub; if you don’t participate in the race, you sure can’t win it. You want to do all these things; whatever they are. They are the things that give you passion, joy, excitement and achievement – and it is your right to do them; but if you don’t even try because you are paralyzed by memories of past failures, you have condemned yourself to nothing more than mere existing.

Black Nike Tick on White Background - Awakening Alchemy In the immortal words of Mr. Nike,

“Just Do It!”


I’d like to finish this revisiting of the pillars of life by reminding you of something incredibly important, that we are all prone to forget about in this hectic and busy world that we sometime feel like we are locked into. YOU ARE AWESOME!

Silhouette of a man walking on stars in the pattern of human DNA - Awakening Alchemy You are incredibly special – you are a unique individual who has creative talents and abilities that nobody else that has ever lived or will ever live, has. When we realize that we are limitless in our potential then we actually can change the world. If we live to our own potential and continue to grow – if we become who we really are, instead of a facade or a mask that we put on every morning, we will live a life that is infinitely happier and more joyous than we do now. Imagine the effect of that on your loved ones, your work colleagues, your friends. They will marvel at this free, happy, contented you and as in the famous line from; “When Harry Met Sally”, they also will exclaim:

“I’ll have some of what she’s having”.

Find the essential you and be an inspiration to the world!

So, there we have it, the full seven pillars of our purpose-driven and heart-led life. Remember, I have covered all these topics in many of my previous blogs, along with some simple, practical steps you can take to assist you in changing your way of living. Almost all of us want to be happy, purpose-filled and heart-led – I’ve met very few people in my time who don’t want that. By making these pillars the basis of your life, you can go a long way to achieving that goal.


If we all adopt these simple life “hacks” what an incredible difference we can make in this world – TOGETHER.


If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

Seven Pillars of a Purpose Driven and Heart-Led Life (Part 1)

Meditation – Why Do it?

Reincarnation – New Thought Movement. 

Reincarnation – Is It For Real? 

Arms and Hands of People Linked under a Blue Sky - Awakening Alchemy


You may, also, wish to consider joining our website. You will be sent a notification each time a new blog is published, plus occasionally we will send you special offers and fantastic opportunities to win. We will never spam you, though. You can join up here:


Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:

AudioBook Cover of Spirit of Prophecy - Awakening Alchemy


 


Till Next Time I’m Sending : Peace and Light

Ancient Greek Pillar Ruins Under a Blue Sky - Awakening Alchemy

Over the past couple of months I’ve outlined some of the things that make for a happy, purpose-driven, and heart-led life. These have included such topics as attitude, happiness, fear etc. I thought in today’s blog it might be a good opportunity to pull all the threads together and summarise what I believe can give each and every one of us the happiness and fulfilment we all so richly deserve. Let me preface this by saying; “this is not some fantasy that we can stretch for and never achieve. Happiness, fulfilment and love are your BIRTHRIGHT, as human beings; it is not a bonus for only the lucky few, but yours by right.” Today, I’ll cover the first four pillars and in our next blog, the final three.

So, please let me reiterate: The SEVEN pillars of a happy and purpose-filled life.

  1. Life is SUPPOSED to be wonderful
  2. Attitude is EVERYTHING
  3. LOVE is the ultimate power of the Universe
  4. Aspire to learn to live in the PRESENT
  5. Happiness is a CHOICE
  6. Maintain an attitude of GRATITUDE
  7. Fear LESS

Although I’ve covered these topics before it’s handy , in this age of endless distractions, to revisit something so important.


Life Is SUPPOSED to be Wonderful

Silhouetted Figure Jumps For Joy against a Gorgeous Sunset - Awakening Alchemy Life is SUPPOSED to be wonderful: This is absolutely true and for many, something that is equally hard to accept. Many of us were brought up in an environment where there was a scarcity of everything, where Mum and Dad (or whoever was responsible for us) worked relentlessly hard every hour in the day, 24/7, just to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. We grew up with the mind-set that life was hard, that nothing came easy, and that we would always struggle to make ends meet in this cruel, unforgiving world. The problem with that type of thinking is this: “Thoughts are things and they create the reality of the world around us “ If we believe life is hard and an eternal struggle, then that is what life will be. Let us aim to adjust our thinking, to believe in abundance and more specifically in abundance for US, personally. There’s a quote from Rhonda Byrne in her seminal work, “The Magic”, that I think describes this paradox perfectly.

“You were not born to struggle. You were not born to live a life where the moments of joy are few and far between. You were not born to toil in your work five days a week, with fleeting moments of happiness at weekends. You were not born to live with limited energy, feeling exhausted at the end of each day. You were not born to worry or be afraid. You were not born to suffer. WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF YOUR LIFE?”  

Rhonda Byrne

 

Attitude is EVERYTHING


Thumbs Up Among The Greenery: Scott Hamilto Quote on Disability - Awakening AlchemyAttitude is EVERYTHING: Your attitude determines what you think about, your emotional state, and your beliefs. What you think about, your beliefs, and your emotional state absolutely determines what will come into your life in the way of circumstances and people. Positive thoughts, positive emotions and positive actions will lead to an upgrade of positive outcomes. The reverse, is of course, equally true. This is an immutable law of the Universe – this is Newton’s Third Law of Thermodynamics – for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sometimes called Karma, it’s really quite simple; what you put out there into the Universe is what you’ll get back, from the Universe. What goes around, comes around.

Maintaining a positive attitude is not as hard as it seems: Meditation, which I discussed in an earlier blog can be a great tool at maintaining a positive attitude. It is a choice! When you wake up in the morning, just say to yourself; “today, I begin my day with positivity in my heart and good thoughts in my head.” Be the person who gets up in the morning and throws open his curtains, proclaiming; “Good morning, God”. Don’t be the person who pulls those same curtains and grumbles; “Good God, it’s morning.”

LOVE is the Ultimate Power of the Universe


Animated Earth Floating Above a Human Hand - Awakening Alchemy LOVE is the ultimate power of the Universe: Almost every single leader, teacher, philosopher, and prophet, throughout history, has had the same basic message for us – LOVE one another. (The Golden Rule). There’s a reason for that – they knew the “secret”, they understood that love is the most powerful force in the Universe and that all positive things in life come from love, whilst all negative things, come from a lack of love. What an incredible shame it is, that we, humanity, have chosen to largely ignore this simple precept in favour of other dogma that suits our EGO, our plans, our ambitions, or our need for dominance over others.

It’s time to get back to basics – it’s time to remember what is important and that is love. We can display love in so many simple ways, every single day. Most importantly, though, is to constantly be thinking of love. Remember what we think about, what we feel – our emotions, create our reality. If we focus on love i.e. falling in love with life, then our life will change but more importantly the lives of those around us will change, in response to us. We have the power – it’s all inside of us, just waiting to be released. Be the one!

Aspire to Learn to Live in the PRESENT


Aspire to learn to live in the PRESENT: How much of our time in this very short human life do we spend (a) ruminating over what happened yesterday, what we should have done differently and how unfair what happened was? Many of us live in a constant yesterday, regretting and feeling sorry for ourselves and (b) stressing about and trying to figure out how to cope with what MIGHT happen tomorrow?

Person With Hands Raised at Edge of Lake Praising Nature - Awakening Alchemy The PRESENT is absolutely all that really matters to us. We cannot change what happened yesterday – yes we can apologise for our mistakes, perhaps try to atone for them but we cannot change what we did, how we reacted, or what we said. Yesterday is gone. Similarly, why waste our precious time worrying about the future, about what might happen, what potential pitfalls lie ahead? We make our own future by the way we think, act and react today! We are the masters of our own destiny, if only we realise it.

Once we stop concentrating on the past or worrying about the future, we can truly enjoy all the beauty and wonder that surrounds us. We live on a beautiful planet, surrounded by friends and loved ones and yet we so often give them scant attention. So, look up, smell the roses, kiss a loved one, greet your neighbour with a cherry “Good Morning” and revel in the sheer joy of being alive amidst such an amazing world.

There we have the first four pillars of our purpose-driven and heart-led life. Remember, I have covered all these topics in many of my previous blogs, along with simple, practical steps you can take to assist you in changing your way of living. Almost all of us want to be happy, purpose-filled and heart-led – I’ve met very few people in my time who don’t want that. By making these pillars the basis of your life, you can go a long way to achieving that goal. Do check out my previous blogs on these subjects, which you can find here: https://bit.ly/2JxICku

If we all adopt these simple life “hacks” what an incredible difference we can make in this world – TOGETHER.


If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

Meditation – Why Do it?

Reincarnation – New Thought Movement. 

Reincarnation – Is It For Real? 

Love is a Beautiful Song. 


You may, also, wish to consider joining our website. You will be sent a notification each time a new blog is published, plus occasionally we will send you special offers and fantastic opportunities to win. We will never spam you, though. You can join up here: 


Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:

 

SOP AudiBook Banenr - Awakening Alchemy


Till Next Time, I’m Sending: Peace and Light

Love Banner: Love is a Beautiful Soing Inside a Golden Heart - Awakening Alchemy

Today we will talk about the most important word in the English language – LOVE!

Throughout time love has been the most talked about, written about, music inspiring and misunderstood word. When we talk about love we are speaking of so much more than the common perception of love for your partner, your family or your favourite things. Love is an all-pervasive dynamic that impacts on everything we do, think and say, every single day.

The Word LOVE in flames - Awakening Alchemy There is a reason why love has always been at the centre of all great religions and faiths. Simply put, love is the ultimate power in the Universe. Everything good, joyful and wonderful in this world, and in our lives, is brought about by love. Everything negative, sad and destructive in the world and in our lives, is brought about simply; by a lack of love, lack of compassion and compounded by fear. The key to success and happiness is to “FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE”. Yes, love is an emotion, and probably the most powerful of all emotions, but it is so much more than that – it is a force, a power that drives our very existence. If it were not for love, we would not even exist. It was the poet Robert Browning who said; “Take away love and our earth is a tomb”. If the force of love were to disappear from the earth tomorrow, humanity would dwindle and eventually die out.

If it was not for love…

Everything we as human beings take for granted today was originally thought of, designed and created by people who loved what they were doing. If it were not for the Wright brothers’ love of the idea of flight, we would not have discovered how to take off, fly and soar. If it were not for people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs who had a burning love and passion to create the personal computer, we would not have the wonderful variety of technological gadgets that allow us to communicate and save us time and effort every day. That said I’m way more pro, face-to-face communication that I am about sending emoticon messages! Without exception, everyone who has achieved great success in life has achieved it through love or passion. By doing what they love, what they believe in and what drives them to get up every morning, they have harnessed the power of love to achieve greatness and success.

Picture of Steve Jobs detailing his chequered history - Awakening Alchemy What allows these exceptional achievers to reach the heights that they reach is exactly the same thing that resides in each and every one of us. We are complete – there is nothing missing in us or in our makeup. We all have, inside of us, the tools and abilities to achieve anything we desire and indeed to share our gifts and be of service and assistance to others. The key to success is in understanding and harnessing the greatest power in the Universe – Love!

If, as we have discussed previously, our ultimate goal in life is merely the simple one of being happy, then love plays a vital role in achieving that happiness. None of us actually wants to do the things we do not love – that would be silly, yet there are tasks of course that cannot be avoided, escaped or delegated – let’s just keep these things proportionate though. We all want to spend our lives doing what sets our hearts on fire. We all want to wake every morning bursting to get out of bed and start our day, filled with enthusiasm and excitement for the challenges and rewards that the new day holds. For most of us though this seems just a pipe-dream. We feel locked into lives that we cannot change; we feel we have responsibilities that we just cannot shirk; and we are deathly afraid to take a chance on something new – to take a chance on life.

I can think of nothing sadder, in life, than to be sitting back at the end of our days looking back over our journey and saying; “if only”. The late Dr Wayne W. Dyer said:

“Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice, and don’t get to the end of your life and say; what if my whole life has been wrong?” 

We owe it to ourselves to not allow that to happen. YOU deserve the very best – I know I keep repeating this, but that’s because it’s important. YOU really are the best. Nobody that has ever lived or will ever live has your unique mix of talents, skills, personality, looks and viewpoint. YOU ARE AWESOME! Once you accept and understand just how incredible you, individually, are as a person, you are well on the way to achieving the happiness we all seek.

Woman Jumping at the Beach: Quote: Fall in Love with your Life - Awakening Alchemy I’m guessing here that there are some people reading this who are thinking; “Hmmm, you’re very good at throwing clichés around, but how exactly am I supposed to ‘fall in love with life’?” Well, that’s what I’m here for; to give practical, simple steps to achieve our ultimate goal of being happy. So, how do you “fall in love with life”? You fall in love with life in the same way you fall in love with another; initially you adore everything about them, you see only good things in that person, then over time you notice the negative things in that person; you may openly point these things out and air things if they are too serious to ignore, but in the main you focus on the positives.

To apply these to your daily life, here are some simple tips on how to approach life from a pro-love perspective, and to “fall in love with life”.

  • When you wake up every morning don’t get out of bed and start your day immediately. Spend just a few minutes being grateful for all the wonderful things in your life, including the fact that you have yet another day to enjoy in this life and all the wonderful things coming your way that are just around the corner.
  • Be optimistic about everything. I often tell the story of the two men who get up in the morning and throw open their windows. One man says; “Good morning God!” whereas the second man says; “Good God! It’s morning!” Be that first man! So often we look at situations and events from a pessimistic outlook. Embrace the positive – we live in a world of duality; in every negative situation or event there is always something positive to be found, if you look for it.
  • Stop wandering around in a state of oblivious unconsciousness. Most of us are totally unaware of our surroundings and the beauty in them. We wander around, either wrapped up inside our own heads planning this or that, or worse still nose down peering at some device or other. Look around you – “smell the flowers!” Even in the most concrete of urban jungles there are beautiful things to be seen. Look for them – put away the electronic devices and see the beauty in nature, in architecture, and in the people that are all around you. Check out The Oracle Walk on my ‘’Inner Voice’’ page:
  • Wherever you go and whatever you do, be constantly on the lookout for things you love, things that lift your mood and make you smile. Say to yourself as you walk along, or drive along; “I love the shape of that building; I love the smell of those flowers; I love the colour of that woman’s hair; oh, I absolutely love that handbag, those shoes, that car, those mountains, that mall etc. etc…”
  • Make a list of the things you love: I’ve mentioned before the power of actually writing (or typing) things down. There is a direct correlation between writing something down and the likelihood of it sticking in your subconscious, so make a list of everything you absolutely love. You’ll be surprised just how long it can be!
  • Quote: It Takes All Kinds to Make a World - Awakening Alchemy Don’t criticize, judge or gossip about others. That is not giving love! There is so much to love about everyone we meet; if we look always for the positive in people. We don’t know their stories and we can only change one person – ourselves; so, “live and let live!”
  • Surround yourself with like-minded people. Be kind and generous – give sincere praise, and thanks = OFTEN. We become the sum of the people and attitudes of the people we are closest to. If we surround ourselves with negative people who constantly criticize and complain; we will find ourselves constantly criticizing and complaining. Raise your game, send thank you notes, messages of support and praise – kind words, thoughtful deeds can and do make such a difference to the quality of someone’s life.

There is so much in this world to love and the more we love, the more goodness and joy will come into our lives. It is important to note that this isn’t just about being more positive and optimistic in life. Yes, that in itself is indeed a great attitude to have and should be the aim, but it is what results from this love and positivity that is actually so incredible.

Law of Attraction’s Role

The Law of Attraction clearly states that what we give; we shall receive. If we give love, optimism and positivity out to the world, then the events, circumstance and people that come into our lives will, by definition, be, loving, positive, and successful. Similarly, if we give out despair, sadness, pessimism and negativity into the world, then the events, circumstance and people that come into our lives will be hurtful, negative, and will drag us down. It becomes a perpetuating spiral – a race to the bottom – or an uplifting state of joy. Think of it as a mirror reflecting back at you. Which do you prefer?

I’d like to finish today with an incredible thought for the future: If everything negative in this world is brought about by a lack of love, ponder for a few moments the immense power of individuals who actually choose to love. If we all agree that the world needs more love, then what are we waiting for? Let us all make the change and “fall in love with life”. If enough of us do so we can actually tip the world from negativity into positivity; then just watch the wonders that will occur when that happens.

Earth - Shot with Space Background - Awakening Alchemy We live on a gorgeous, beautiful, planet with plentiful [but not unlimited] resources. Does an apple tree decide who is worthy of getting to eat its apples? No of course not. When we, as a human race, fully embrace the concept of loving each other, embracing and celebrating our differences rather than fearing or hating them – we will have shifted the Earth, [Gaia] into vibrating at a higher and way more harmonious level. Lower emotions like fear, hatred, judgement, revenge and lack of compassion/empathy make the shadows darker, the light deserves our focus and joyous intentions. Be part of the movement to change and upgrade our world, by changing yourself. You can, do and will make a difference.

 


If you enjoyed this blog and would like to read more of these uplifting blogs, please do join my website and you will be advised every time a new blog is posted. You can join here.

If you would like to check out the last few blogs, you can find them here:

Seven Concepts of Unity:

A Philosophical Colossus – Gautama Buddha: 

Happiness Revisited:

Celebrating International Women’s History Month:

 

You may also wish to take a look at my psychic detective novel: Spirit of Prophecy, which captures many of the themes I discuss in my blogs in a classic “whodunit” mystery based around the sport of 3-Day-Eventing. Just click on the photo beneath and you’ll be there:

Little Boy on Shore Jumping and Holding the Moon: Carl Sagan Quote - Awakening Alchemy

 

 

 

Now, if you have been paying attention, you will be expecting a blog about reincarnation, right about now. Sometimes the Universe throws us a “curve ball” and that has happened this week. Reincarnation is coming, when it sees fit, but for today please settle back and consider this minor question – what do YOU believe in?

As human beings, we have always had this innate need to believe that we are more than just a flesh and blood accident – that we are something meaningful in this Universe of ours and that we do indeed have some unique gifts to express, and purpose to fulfil. That desire to believe in something greater than ourselves; to find something tangible on which to hang our existence is totally understandable. Nobody wants to feel that their life has no meaning – no purpose.

Over the millennium, men and women have looked to the heavens for purpose and meaning in life and from the moment the earliest hominids stood up and walked, humanity has been obsessed in creating its various stories about its existence, its meaning, and its purpose. Religion, Faith, Belief; whatever it is you wish to call it, is a concept expressed through Creation myths throughout the ages.

Karl Marx once famously wrote; “Religion… it is the opium of the people.” Many would take this to suggest that religion is a prop for the weak-minded; that it provides people with an artificial, illusory happiness and thus removes those, who believe, from the need to participate in creating a better society. I would disagree with those that propound this argument that religion is nothing more than an emotional crutch for feeble-minded people. Religion, it seems to me, is the natural outpouring of humanity’s need to explain the clear existence of a “God” or a “Creator” of our Universe and to feel connected.

That religion has been used throughout history and sadly still is today, to justify barbaric and inhumane acts against our fellow travelers on this planet, does not in of itself make religion a bad thing. I believe that religion, of whatever flavor, actually teaches us vitally important doctrines to live by. It seems to me that many, if not all of the mainstream religions actually have very similar core beliefs, that are both beneficial and advantageous to the individual and society as a whole. If we ignore the distortion of religious doctrine to justify the actions of misguided and negative people, then we can find some truths about life that are common across all the varying flavors and colors of religious philosophy.

In fact, according to recent research all societies play by the rules: 7 to be precise.

All societies are held together by seven universal moral rules, researchers at the University of Oxford have recently concluded. Although many Western cultures are moving towards more liberal less hierarchical organizations, the basic values of charity and fraternity are the cornerstones of successful societies. [We touched upon this is an earlier blog about HAPPINESS and why Scandinavian countries top the ranking tables.] The huge study of 60 cultures around the world found that all communities operated under seven basic moral codes. Universal rules are: 1) help your family 2) help your group 3) return favors 4) be brave 5) defer to superiors 6) divide resources fairly and 7) respect the property of others. Ideas encompassed within the code, include caring for frail relatives, passing on property to offspring, going to war if needed, and respecting elders. These traits held true for every kind of community, from traditional hunter-gatherers, to advanced Western civilizations and work in order to uphold civilized society and foster social cooperation. Everyone, everywhere shares common moral codes, according to Dr Oliver Scott Curry, the lead author and senior researcher at the Institute for Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology at Oxford.

These rules appear to be universal across cultures because people face the same social problems. The study published in Current Anthropology, is the largest most comprehensive and widespread survey of morals conducted and aimed to find out if different societies have different versions of morality. The team analysed ethnographic accounts from more than 600 sources, in 60 societies. They found that the seven rules were considered morally good in all societies and, despite appearing like Western Christian principles, they were in fact observed across all continents, religions and politics. However, some communities valued certain rules more highly than others: for example – the Maasai of Kenya, the uncompromising ideal of supreme warrior-hood involves commitment to self-sacrifice and a supreme display of courageous loyalty. Meanwhile, the Bemba in Zambia exhibit deep sense of respect for elders’ authority, and among the Tarahumara of Mexico respect for the property of others is key.

In Summary:

  1. Help your family, be a loving and protective parent. Pass on property.
  2. Help your group, join communal activities. Promote unity and solidarity.
  3. Return favors, repay a debt and fulfil a contract.
  4. Be brave put yourself at risk for others.
  5. Defer to superiors. Be deferential, respectful, loyal, and obedient.
  6. Divide resources, share the spoils, and be willing to compromise.
  7. Respect other’s property, no stealing, trespassing or vandalism.

Moreover most, if not all mainstream religions actually promote and encourage, “The Golden Rule”; “Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you.” If we respect and value each other, with the same respect and value we should be giving ourselves, then incredible things would happen. The problem, as I see it, is that far too often we not only disrespect and belittle our fellow human beings; we don’t even value and respect ourselves. Once we learn to love ourselves and accept our own wonderful uniqueness and inherent beauty we can then respect and value everyone else’s. The key to implementing the “Golden Rule” is to first and foremost “Love yourself as you are, in all your unique glory.”

Further most, if not all mainstream religions promote and encourage the protection and preservation of our glorious and beautiful planet Earth; its creatures and its environment. We are mere custodians of this planet and yet we continue to pillage and plunder the resources, at immense cost to our environment and more importantly those who will come after us; our children, our grandchildren and the generations yet to be born. We are placed here as stewards of this planet and we need to rally to the call for pro-conservation change.

Perhaps the most important tenet of most, if not all mainstream religions is the overarching belief in the redemptive power of “LOVE”. Love is the key to success as individuals and success as a society. When we approach the world, each other, and ourselves with the motivation of love, amazing things begin to happen in all of our lives. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe; everything bad in the world results from “fear, a constricted heart, and ultimately a lack of love” and if we can tip the balance of the world into love, we can see great change.

I want to introduce you to the word “Omnism”, if you haven’t yet come across it. If you look that up in an online dictionary the definition is given as: “The belief in all religions”. I chose this word because although it doesn’t quite express what I truly believe, it comes as close as anything I can think of. As individuals I believe we create our own reality; and religion, (in whatever form that may take). Whatever you may believe is your reality – your belief, I respect and will always champion your right to believe whatever you choose to believe; whatever reality you choose to create for yourself. It is only when people try to force their beliefs on other people that I would feel compelled to take a stand.

Beliefs change over time; that’s important to understand. What we believed as a child is clearly different to what we believe as an adult. We are programmed, conditioned creatures and until we can break that programming and begin to think for ourselves, our beliefs are those imparted by our parents, our families, our friends, our teachers, and society as a whole.

I can sum up my own personal beliefs (as they are today) in a few succinct paragraphs:

I believe in a power greater than me: Call it God, the Universe, the Creator, The Great Spirit, Yahweh, Allah. Whatever your construct of this higher power is called, one thing I am certain of is that there is a greater power than us.

I believe we are an integral part of our Universe; that we, like everything else in the Universe are created solely from energy, and as such we have no beginning and we have no end – we just always are. Energy cannot be destroyed; it can only be converted into something else. We are immortal spirits experiencing a human journey. I can’t tell you for certain what happens when our physical bodies die, but I do know that we will go on and I look forward to that discovery one day.

I believe in the power of ME and in the power of YOU – The power of the INDIVIDUAL. I believe that the world around us is created by each and every one of us. Our reality is what we create it to be. The power has always been ours – we either surrendered it to others or we never even knew we had it. It’s time to reclaim it! We can save the planet one habit at a time.

I believe in the power of love. This is not just the “romantic” notion of love, it is so much more. This is the love that is the all-powerful, all-pervasive love that drives the Universe. We must love life and embrace it in all its joys and its sorrows. The power of love has the ability to change everything for the better and once we discover that, then our lives will change forever.

I believe my purpose in life is – “To be heart centered, open and to be happy.” Life is a journey and we are all entitled to have wonderful lives, full of happiness and joy, if we chose to. To find that happiness we first need to discover what it is that gives us joy. For me, it is my writing, among other things. If what I write entertains, assists or informs and connects with others, then I have utilized my unique talent for the good.

Finally, I believe that every day should be utilized to LEARN something new about ourselves, our family, our friends and our world. We are on a journey of discovery and the day that we think we know it all, or that we know all we need to know, is the day we have given up and shut down; spiritually, emotionally and probably even physically.

If you would like to check up on some of our earlier bogs, you can find the last five here:

A Philosophical Colossus – Gautama Buddha

Happiness Revisited – Part 3

Celebrating Women’s History Month 

Happiness: That Elusive Dream – Part 2

Happiness: That Elusive Dream – Part 1

If you’ve enjoyed this blog and want to read more, just sign up on our website and you will be sent notification each time a new blog is published. I welcome all feedback and look forward to hearing from you. You can sign up for the website here

Do pop on over to my Books By JJ Hughes page on this website and take a look at my novel, Spirit of Prophecy which incorporates many of the concepts I talk about on my blogs, along with a thrilling “whodunit” mystery. Just click on the photo below and you’re there:

 

 

 

 

To fully understand fear and the crippling effect it can have on us, we first need to understand that there are two very different types of fear that we as human beings experience.

The first type of fear is that which is known as “physiological fear”. Now physiological fear is built into our genes – it is an evolutionary trait that has helped allow humanity to rise to the top of the evolutionary pyramid. Physiological fear is what alerts us to potentially life-threatening scenarios, that we can choose to ignore (and some people certainly do choose to) at our peril. What defines physiological fear is the need to react physically to it. Literally speaking physiological fear is the difference between life and death. There are some fairly obvious examples here: The fear of heights is one. A long history of people dying when they fell from high places e.g. cliff edges, has ensured that an automatic fear of heights is well ingrained in our DNA. You would not readily walk along a thin girder suspended 100 feet above the ground because your subconscious automatically knows this is not likely to be good for your long-term survival. Similarly, when you are confronted by an angry animal predator, physiological fear requires a physical action to flee and remove you from the danger you face, freeze, or, if all else fails, to stand and fight for your life.

Although some people do make a conscious decision to embrace the physiological fear and overcome it, for example mountain climbers, big wave surfers, skydivers et al, in general terms it is fair to say that physiological fear is good for us and warns us of potentially dangerous situations that we may choose, or not, to avoid. Physiological fear is a good thing – it helps to keep us alive.           

What is not such a great thing however is psychological fear. Psychological fear is not born in our DNA, but is born within our own active imagination, or as Andy Shaw likes to call it – that little monster in our head, called our ego”. Psychological fear is the most crippling and limiting aspect of our psyche. It stops us from reaching our potential in life and most importantly of all it limits the happiness and joy we can experience. In some unfortunate people psychological fear can be so great and so overpowering that it literally drives that person to a complete standstill. 

We’ve all read and heard of people who are so crippled by fear that they cannot even leave their own houses (agoraphobia), others who have a pathological fear of water (aquaphobia) and those too frightened of heights to even climb a set of stairs (acrophobia), but those with phobias this extreme are best assisted in overcoming them with professional psychological counselling and treatment.

 

For most of us the fears that cripple us are just simple psychological fears that we have allowed to become the ruling paradigms in our lives. These are fears that have been drilled into us over the years by the people we have most trusted to guide us in our lives; our parents, our siblings, our teachers, our friends, our work colleagues and indeed society in general. We have, like good and faithful dogs, been exceedingly well trained. The problem is that these fears have become so ingrained in our subconscious that they can stop us from doing things we WANT to do and even beneficial stuff, to grow as individuals and experience the awesome life that we were born to live. So, what are these fears that hold us back from achieving our greatness?                

Perhaps one of the biggest fears that prevents us from achieving our true potential is: THE FEAR OF FAILURE. How often have you thought of a great idea or considered trying a new activity, or a new hobby, even a new career and then been paralyzed by that overwhelming fear of failure? You come up with the idea – you think that’s awesome – yeah! I can do that and then what happens? 

That insane little critter in your head (your ego) starts chattering back to you:

 
  • “Just who do you think you are?”
  • “What makes you think you can do that?”
  • “You tried something like that before, remember? God, what a disaster that was!”
  • “No, you stick to your knitting – you do what you can do”
  • “Don’t you dare have the temerity to try something new – you know you’re a loser, you’re bound to fail.”
  • “Best you just go and have a beer eh and forget all about it?”

But why are we so afraid of failure? Failure is the first step on the road to success. It doesn’t matter which successful person you interview, you will always find that there is failure written in their story. In fact, many successful people literally “celebrate” their failures. Here, I particularly like the comment of Robert T Kiyosaki (Author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad); “Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure, also avoid success.”

If you are to be the greatest you that you can possibly be – you need to overcome this fear of failure. Whatever it is you want to do – you first of all need to make a start, and from then on the key is persistence. Don’t be off-put by the ego that keeps telling you, you will fail! There is an old truism – “if you don’t run the race; you can never be the winner!”

And even if you don’t succeed initially; then you will have at least gained two wonderful things:

1/ You will have the immense satisfaction of having tried something you have always wanted to try. You will have given it your absolute best and you will have grown as a person. None of these things is to be dismissed lightly, they are all part of the building blocks of success; and


2/ You will have so much more experience than you had before. The mistakes you made this particular time will serve you well in your future projects. I guarantee you, you won’t make those same mistakes again. As Heston Blumenthal said; “I learned more from my one failed restaurant than from all the successful one’s put together.” 

So don’t let the fear of failure cripple you and consign you to living a life too ordinary. You were born to excel – you were born to be great. Just take that first step down the path that you long to venture along and embrace any failures as part of the process of growing your greatness.     

What other fears hold us back from achieving our true potential in life?

A big one for many people is the fear of ridicule – of what other people will say about them and what they are doing. In this new, highly connected world it seems that for many people “appearing” good to others is their definition of their success or happiness. Why is this so? Success and happiness start and end with love – the love of one person – YOU FOR YOURSELF! Truly, what does it matter what others think of you?

The biggest problem I encounter is that instead of people loving themselves for who they are – a unique individual with talents and gifts to express – they indulge in fruitless and debilitating episodes of low self-worth and burnt out self-esteem, and then have to seek validation for themselves, from others.

If we truly love ourselves and embrace our own uniqueness with passion, then why should we need validation from anyone else? “To thine own self be true.” If we are going to spend our lives seeking acceptance/approval from others and seeking their plaudits then we will waste so many opportunities to experience the joys of life that make us happy and can fill us with bliss. Fear of what others may think or say is extremely limiting and can paralyze us from action.

YOU deserve better than that! You deserve to fulfil your own dreams and desires, not someone else’s perception of who you should be, or what you should do. Take control of your thoughts and actions, your own destiny and live for you – forget about what others have to say. The time they spend trying to drag other’s down and limit other’s potential is wasting their own opportunities to grow and experience everything that this amazing life has to offer. Don’t fall into the trap of pandering to their small-minded needs. Go out there and be the best you can be; doing the things you want to do. Dream Big and Aim High, feel the fear and do it anyway.  

The final fear I want to cover today is also a biggie for many people – the fear of the unknown; what the future might hold.

First and foremost, you need to understand that the unknown is somewhere out there, in the future. The only thing you can do to control the future is what you do TODAY – here and now.

If you focus your mind on all the potential problems and pitfalls that the future may hold for you – that is exactly what your future WILL hold. You will actually attract to yourself the very things you want to avoid.

You need to accept that you live in the PRESENT, not the past or the future and whatever you think about and do NOW, will be what your future, manifests in your life. Acceptance is key, you can’t change what has happened, but the thing you can manage is your reaction. Deep down we also need to re-program our beliefs, to say to ourselves – okay, this is tough, but what’s the lesson here for me? Then let it go, sometimes things only become clear with the passage of time, but chances are there something way better waiting for you just around the corner. So, have faith, believe in yourself and that the realization of your dreams awaits.

At any given point in time we are exactly where we are meant to be; doing exactly what we are meant to be doing; with the people we are meant to be doing it with. Don’t let the fear of the future cripple your ambitions. Embrace the present – be the person you want to be today, and tomorrow will take care of itself.      

I want to end today with a quote from one of my favourite authors, in fact the woman probably recognized as the one person who introduced the “Law of Attraction” to the masses – Rhonda Byrne. She says in her book The Power; “You were meant to have an amazing life – you were not born to struggle… what then would be the point of your life?”

I couldn’t agree more. We all have within us the potential to achieve greatness, whether it be just within ourselves, within our families, within our community or indeed within the world. We are not limited by anything except our own choices and our own fears.

 

TIME TO NOTCH UP INTO THE FEARLESS GEAR THEN!

 

You may wish to visit some of our previous blogs. The last four are listed below: 

Karma – More Than You Thought? 

Attitude Upgrade – Part 2

Attitude Upgrade – Part 1 

Karma – It’s Gonna Get Ya! 

 

Spirit of Prophecy - Audio Book

Be sure to pop on over to my fiction section of this website where you can check out my amazing novel; Spirit of Prophecy, which explores, in a fictional narrative, many of the topics I cover in my blogs. If you love “whodunits”, or you’re crazy about horses, or you just like a paranormal twist in your novels, Spirit of Prophecy is just the book for you. http://bit.ly/2LeRJ84