Tag Archive for: self-love

Free E-Book Banner - Turquoise Background, Debra in Red and E-Book Cover - Awakening Alchemy

During these unique and challenging times, many feel that it’s selfish to be focusing on success.

But think about it for a minute. Is it really?

If you look at success as the dictionary definition — “The attainment of money, fame, material possessions, or power”– then yes, this might not be the time to just focus on those types of goals.

Debra Poneman's Yes To Success Banner

But I think you and I would agree that in today’s world, that dictionary definition of success is as outdated as the BlackBerry at the bottom of your junk drawer.

Our society has begun to redefine success and for most, it’s no longer about just money or fame or outer achievement but must include contribution and inner fulfillment.

My dear friend, Debra Poneman is an international success expert and mentor to some of the most renowned transformational teachers of our time. In her acclaimed e-book The 5 Secrets to a Life of True Success, she offers a new paradigm of success and the simple steps to live it.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE EBOOK HERE

In her ebook Debra suggests (and research confirms) that the reason the old paradigm of success so often leads people to despair is the expectation that attaining goals will lead to fulfillment.

Although Debra is in no way averse to setting goals and making plans to achieve them, she believes that there’s an important component missing from that approach. In her ebook, she shares spiritual and energetic practices we can use to first create an unshakeable foundation on which to build our outer success. Then, whether or not we reach our goals, our self-love and inner silence never diminishes.

She also gives us tools and techniques to live our dharma as well as heart-warming, real-life stories that illustrate how engaging in sacred activism and opening to receiving love makes the manifestation of outer desires become effortless.

We particularly love the story about what the great spiritual teacher Maharishi Mahesh Yogi told Debra when she asked him why everyone else loved him more than she did.

Tens of thousands of people all over the world have used the formula Debra shares in her e-book to create lives of ultimate success.

“I’d become immune to e-books and their promises of changing my life, but I heard you on a podcast and loved what you had to say so I thought I’d just take a glance at your book. I just finished it and I am in tears. My heart has been burst wide open by the stories you share (especially the one about your son) and I am completely committed to following your steps to true and lasting success.” ~ Carolyn D., Chicago

“I read every word of your book and it was breathtaking!! Truly amazing. I’m inspired and filled with a sense of awe. It’s very clearly not just a thrown-together loss leader like so many. This is the best ebook I’ve ever read. And The New Success is definitely an idea whose time has come.” 
~ Shelly Lefkoe, Founder of the Lefkoe Institute

“Of all the teachers we have access to in our on-line world, one extraordinary woman stands out amongst the crowd. Master mentor Debra Poneman leads the way to continual inspiration. I’ve seen first-hand how the depth of her knowledge, the wealth of her wisdom, the vastness of her love, the breadth of her humor, and the contagiousness of her joy can and will inspire you to say YES to a life beyond what you can even now imagine. From the truest place in my heart, I encourage you to take advantage of anything she offers, including her profoundly life-changing ebook. Your life will never be the same.”
~ Katherine Woodward Thomas, NY Times Bestselling Author, Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in the One

“Over 30 years ago I first attended Debra’s Yes to Success seminar. I was completely blown away by her unique vision and practical tools for how every one of us can live our most cherished dreams — and by her powerful presence and radiant spirit. I ended up attending the seminar so many more times that I lost count and each time I gained new insights that impacted my life and allowed me to formulate The Passion Test. And now she’s taken the essence and put it in this e-book. What an incredible gift.”
~ Janet Attwood, Co-author NY Times Bestseller The Passion Test

The world needs you to live true success now so that you can have peace and happiness in your soul and BE the contribution you long to be. Debra’s beautiful e-book shows you how.

GET YOUR EBOOK NOW => The 5 Secrets to a Life of True Success: 

Till Next Time, I’m Sending: Love, Phire, and the Violet Flame of Peace

Jill Hughes

 

PS Don’t miss the story in Chapter 2 where Debra tells about the time she broke her foot and sprained her ankle two days before one of the most important presentations of her life and how she turned the pain into a monumental success.

PPS When you download Debra’s e-book, you’ll then be invited to attend her free live webinar, The 5 Pillars to Your Ultimate Life, as well as a 5-hour LIVE “Yes-a-Thon” titled Living a New Paradigm of Success with special guests including Marianne Williamson, Marci Shimoff, Janet Attwood, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Sonia Ricotti, John Newton and Jose Hernandez!!

DOWNLOAD YOUR EBOOK HERE:  

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Do check out our previous blogs. You can find the last four here:

Love, Phire, and the Violet Flame of Peace

Self-Love and New Thought = Awakening Alchemy

What is the tie-in between self-love and “new thought”?

We now know what self-love is all about, so perhaps we better define “new thought” a bit more.

Self-Talk & Creativity - Awakening Alchemy New thought was a philosophy that began in the early mid-nineteenth century that postulated the idea of “healthy mindedness” as well as a healthy body. It was a spiritual movement with its roots in metaphysical beliefs. It grew out of existing Christian beliefs, especially those of a Calvinist origin. New thought’s basic premise was; “that anything that exists in the mind and could be expressed through words had the ability to transcend the physical and be realized through individual thoughts and intuition.”

Many philosophers and thinkers of the time latched onto “new thought” as expressing their belief in the universality of humanity and whilst still accepting a higher power, they attributed that higher power to the Universe rather than some arbitrary human construct, such as God, Yaweh, Allah, or whatever it might be.

Perhaps, for most of us today, “new thought” only came to the forefront of our consciousness in 2006 with the world-wide streaming of Rhonda Byrne’s movie and later book, “The Secret”. It was at this time the idea of the Law of Attraction and New Thought actually swept across the world. Rhonda would be the first to admit that her movie was espousing nothing new, but rather sharing the “secret” that she had discovered from reading a one-hundred-year-old book by Wallace Wattles, titled, The Science of Getting Rich. So, although Rhonda’s epiphany may have seemed startling, exciting, and new to a whole new generation of adherents, the basic principles that made up the new thought philosophy had been around and discussed for many years.

Joseph Campbell:          

New Thought Author Joseph Campbell - Awakening Alchemy One adherent to the new thought philosophy was Joseph Campbell. An American author and editor who lived from 1904 to 1987, Joseph Campbell is best known for his works on comparative mythologies across the world. He examined the universal functions and impacts of myths in various cultures and mythical figures across a wide range of different literature from all over the world.

For me, however, it was his pronouncements and quotes that have the greatest effect and inspiration. We talked last week about the greatest way to love yourself is to find your true path in life – that which you were gifted; those unique and special talents that we’ve been talking about. Joseph Campbell’s simple quote, for me, sums up perfectly what we need to do, as individuals, if we are to achieve the self-realization, self-actualization and self-love that we both seek and deserve.

“Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls.”

Joseph Campbell

Such a simple phrase – “follow your bliss” but one that is guaranteed to put you where you (a) want to be and (b) where you belong.

Follow Your Bliss:

What is bliss?

Follow Your Bliss - Awakening Alchemy Bliss is a concept that almost defies description. It is vast, boundless, immeasurable AND it is a totally different state, for every single person and that is the key. Bliss must be personally experienced to understand what it is for YOU. Bliss exists on an entirely different dimension to simple happiness – it is so much more than that. It is a state where the sense of ego slips away and a feeling of total connectedness takes over. When you are in a state of bliss there is no sense of “me”, separate from the rest of creation – there is just joy and peace.

Perhaps the best definition I’ve heard of bliss is doing something where time, the environment, and everything around you fades away into the background and only the thing you are currently focused on matters anymore. This is the way I feel when I’m writing these blogs, or my novels, so, for me, a state of bliss is attained when I am writing. For everyone it will be different and you need to focus on what gives you bliss and then find a way to relate that to today’s environment and a way to “follow your bliss” that also rewards you financially for doing so. Remember what Richard Branson said about not doing what he did for the money, but for the fun and the challenge. But that when he had fun, invariably the money followed.

If there is one guaranteed way to achieve the self-love and satisfaction that we all seek, that is it.

If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.”

Joseph Campbell

Simply put, if you do things that you are passionate about, you’ll feel more alive and doors will open for you.

New Thought and Self-Talk:

Be Kind to Yourself - Awakening Alchemy We’ve talked a lot in the last few blogs about the importance to our well-being of our own self-talk. Regardless of the reasons for us having a low opinion of ourselves, so many of us do and we are continually berating ourselves for not measuring up to either our or others opinions or expectations of us. When we denounce ourselves, we are doing serious harm to our self-esteem and self-worth.

This is particularly cogent when we look at new thought beliefs. One of the core beliefs of this new thought philosophy is expressed in the concept that; “thoughts are things”. One of the best known of the new thought authors is Napoleon Hill and perhaps his most famous quote was:

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

You Have to Love Yourself - Awakening Alchemy I’m sure that will right now be resonating with readers of this blog. What an inspirational quote – if we act and think positively, with respect to self-love and self-talk, we can create whatever we desire and need. If thoughts are things and we can achieve whatever we conceive and believe in, if we don’t believe in ourselves, we will create exactly what we believe in and constantly tell ourselves – that we are hopeless, we are a failure, we can’t do anything right, or what’s the point in even trying if we’re just going to mess it up?

That, in a nutshell is why positive self-talk and believing in ourselves and our unique abilities is so important. If we don’t – we are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy through the Law of Attraction. Remember the mirror exercise from recent blogs. We really need to practice that – we need to be able to look in the mirror and say; “I am an awesome human being, I can achieve anything I set my mind to, I am capable, I am special, I am unique, I am… (fill in the blank).

Give Yourself Praise - Awakening Alchemy There are so many people in this world today who are quick to try to bring you down, to scoff at your achievements and to belittle you or even withhold applause or praise. Congratulations, and celebrations are so important – always look for things to appreciate in yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back and a high five whenever you make constructive progress or take positive action. Self-love is also about moving away from lower [on an energetic sphere] feelings / emotions such as shame – guilt – anger – judgement and so on, and raising your vibration, instead.

We hope you’ll review this series from time to time and deploy some of the tips on a regular basis. It is your duty to yourself to remind yourself that you are better than all of that, that you are special and unique, that you are wonderful. If you don’t believe it, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?

I hope you have realized over these last four blogs why self-love, self-care, self-awareness is so important to us, as human beings and what we can do to ensure that we do love ourselves properly and look after ourselves so that we are able to utilize those special and unique talents that make us who we are. I want to leave you today, with a special quote that neatly sums up everything we’ve been discussing over these last four weeks.

“You can’t hate yourself happy. You can’t criticize yourself thin. You can’t shame yourself worthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care.”

– Jessica Ortner

If you enjoyed this Blog and would like to read more spiritual and metaphysical issues plus lots more besides, please do join our website and you will receive a notice whenever a new blog is posted, as well as special promotions and the opportunity to win prizes. We will never spam you, though. You can join here:

If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

You may also wish to avail yourself of our fantastic FREE report: 3 Proven Ways to Pull More Prosperity to You in 30 Days. You can grab your copy of this here:

Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:

 

Mystery, Magic and Supernatural; Spirit of Prophecy - Awakening Alchemy

Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light

 

How Can I Love Myself - Awakening Alchemy

As we’ve seen over the past two weeks, learning to love ourselves is one of the most important things we can do for our own self-confidence, self-esteem, and general wellbeing. If we are to have any chance of achieving the happiness we so richly deserve, as unique and wonderful human beings, I hope you will agree with me by now, we need first to love ourselves. We’ve seen all the impediments to achieving the self-love and self-care that are our birthright. You might actually be thinking, by this point, that the deck is very much stacked against us!

The Wind Beneath My Wings - Awakening Alchemy Well, I’m here to tell you that is absolutely untrue! We have everything we need, inside of us, to achieve the self-love and happiness that we owe ourselves. Even more importantly, I have some incredibly easy practical steps to begin our journey of wiping out the past and building a new future through the things we say, think, and believe, today.

All those years of negativity from others and even from yourself have to be wiped away and dealt with. You need to learn the secret to LOVING YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY! As with any improvement in our lives the first step is easy – You need to make a conscious decision to love yourself. I know this may sound self-evident but you’d be surprised at how many people try to improve their lives but forget this most basic of actions – MAKE A DECISION! By choosing to love yourself unconditionally you are triggering a couple of things.

  1. You are telling your subconscious that this is real and you are going to do this, so you begin the process of ingraining the new affirmation into your subconscious and to begin wiping away all the negative programming that has built up over the years. (Remember though, from last week – this conscious decision will kick that little maniacal ego into action, to begin working against your decision, so you will need to be aware of this and ready to counter it).
  2. You are making a commitment, to yourself, to take full and complete responsibility for the outcomes in your life – to stop blaming others, the Universe, or just life in general, for anything negative that comes into your world. You are promoting yourself to the exalted rank of CAPTAIN of your own ship, in the sea of life.

“No other love no matter how genuine it is, can fulfil one’s heart better than unconditional self-love.”

– Edmond Mbiaka

 

Long-Term Structural Steps to Achieve Self-Love:

  • Unconditional Love of Yourself - Awakening Alchemy Fall in Love with Yourself: We’ve talked about this idea of “falling in love with yourself”, in previous blogs. Stop berating yourself for things you perceive as being your faults or shortcomings. We all do this – we focus on what we don’t like about ourselves instead of all the amazing things that make us the incredible individual we truly are. Be kind, be gentle, be loving to yourself. Think about it this way – we are taught from early on to be nice to other people, to praise them and not to criticize them. Why then, should it be any less for us, the most important person in the Universe, to be kind and compassionate to ourselves? It’s insane that we consistently drag ourselves down instead of building ourselves up.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: Make it a habit to praise yourself every single day and DON’T be embarrassed by it. One of the absolute best ways to do this is using the “mirror technique”. How many of you hate looking at yourself in the mirror? I know many of you will have bashfully put your hand up to that one. You need to face yourself, daily, look into your own eyes and tell yourself a host of positive affirmations. “I am amazing. I can do anything I choose to do. I am a unique being with unique talents. I am wonderful. I am capable. I am… (fill in the blank). Make it a habit to do this regularly, multiple times a day, if you can. Two things will happen – one, you’ll shut up that crazy ego inside your head and two, your subconscious will assimilate your positive affirmations and begin to believe them and more importantly, actively support them.
  • Acknowledge Your Achievements: So often we forget to acknowledge or reward our achievements. We are the first to jump up and down and celebrate other’s achievements but we forget all about ourselves. That’s just plain wrong – we are as worthy of praise as anyone, so make sure you give yourself some. Celebrate your effort, regardless of the outcome of what you were doing. You tried!
  • Forgive Yourself: So often we carry this immense burden on our shoulders from our past actions or decisions. It’s time to let it all go – forgive yourself. What happened in the past cannot be changed, so let it go. If you need to apologize to someone, by all means, do so but then move on.

 

“Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.”

Miguel Angel Ruiz

 

  • Gratitude Makes You Beautiful - Awakening Alchemy Express and Feel Deep Gratitude: Gratitude is so important to improving our feelings about ourselves. Be grateful for who you are, for your strengths and gifts. If you feel blessed it is so much easier to look at yourself with positive eyes and positive thoughts. You are alive, you are living on a blessed planet and you are capable of making an immense difference in your life. What a lot to be grateful for!
  • Cherish Your Dreams: Dream big – aim for the stars. Why deny your dreams? So many of us bury our dreams beneath a blanket of responsibilities, lack of time, financial worries, other’s expectations, our own insecurities – but why should we? Our dreams are what keep us striving to achieve, to be happy, to lead the life we really want. If you give up on your dreams, you give up on life. It reminds me of the title of a popular comedy series in Britain a few years ago. If you give up your dreams you are just; “Waiting for God”.

 

“Don’t die with the music still in you.”

Dr Wayne Dyer

 

Quick Practical Steps for Change:

  • Sleep Properly: Getting a good night’s sleep is imperative if you are going to wake up in the morning refreshed, excited, and raring to go. It’s a lot harder to love yourself, if you are tired, grumpy, restless. One really great habit to get into is to fall asleep reciting your positive affirmations from the “mirror exercise” earlier. The subconscious is at its most receptive as you drift off to sleep.
  • Healthy Eating is Critical - Awakening Alchemy Eat Properly: There’s nothing wrong with “treating” yourself, rewarding yourself for something you did or tried (in fact that is to be encouraged) but limit the treats and you’ll appreciate them more. A balanced, healthy diet, will make a balanced, healthy, you.
  • Spend “Alone Time” with yourself to think and maybe meditate: This is where you’ll really begin to discover the “real” you – the one that’s been hidden behind the giant wall of years of mental conditioning and negative self-talk. When you discover the “real” you, trust me, you will fall in love with yourself.
  • Exercise Regularly: Easy to say, hard to do. Don’t we know it? So, start easy – go for a walk in the morning and soak up the beauty that surrounds you. We all know that when we exercise we release endorphins and endorphins make us feel great about ourselves and the world around us, so gently exercising is a massive boost to our self-love.
  • Thank yourself and those around you regularly: Nobody is an island. As Sir Isaac Newton once said; “if I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.” We have much to be grateful for from others but don’t forget to thank yourself, also, for being the wonderful person you are.
  • Allow Yourself Time to Play: As adults, we often forget that we still need to play, also. “All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.” Spend some time EVERY single day doing something you absolutely love. It may be something as simple as sitting in the garden with a cup of tea, reading a good book. Whatever it is that spins your wheels – make sure you do it for yourself and your own wellbeing.
  • Stay Away from Bad Habits: The two biggest bad habits to stay away from: 1. Self-criticism and 2. Criticism of Others (Gossiping).
  • Stay Away from Toxic Influences: The most toxic influence you need to avoid is people who bring you down. I’m always amazed that so often we are drawn to people (they become our best friends) who constantly belittle us and bring us down. Why is that? If someone is constantly bringing you down, you need to jettison that person from your life, no matter how close they are. You are here to live YOUR life, for YOU, nobody else. Love yourself enough to let go of anyone who creates negativity in your life.

 

Enjoy Aloneness With Yourself - Awakening Alchemy Finally, today, I’d like to introduce you to a concept I’ll be talking about a lot in next week’s blog on Self-Love and the “New Thought” movement; the notion of “following your bliss”. This concept was first brought to our consciousness by 20th Century mythologist, writer, and philosopher, Joseph Campbell.

Following your bliss is a vital part of the journey to self-love, self-fulfilment and self-actualisation. I’ll see you then.

If you enjoyed this Blog and would like to read more spiritual and metaphysical issues plus lots more besides, please do join our website and you will receive a notice whenever a new blog is posted, as well as special promotions and the opportunity to win prizes. We will never spam you, though. You can join here: 

If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

You may also wish to avail yourself of our fantastic FREE report: 3 Proven Ways to Pull More Prosperity to You in 30 Days. You can grab your copy of this here:

Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:  

 

Spirit of Prophecy Audio Book - Awakening Alchemy

Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light

 

Impediments to Self-Love - Awakening Alchemy

This week I want to specifically look at some of those things that invariably get in the way of looking after ourselves and giving ourselves the love and respect we deserve as the incredible human beings we are.

The biggest impediment to self-love is YOU!

Right, that’s probably the shortest blog I’ve ever written, but seriously we really are often our own worst enemies when it comes to looking after ourselves properly. We go out of our way to sabotage ourselves and in this blog, I’ll be pointing out some of the crazy things we do and justify, to doing to ourselves, that damages our self-esteem, our confidence and our ability to be the absolute best we can be – and as I keep telling you, the absolute best you can be is incredible, breath-taking, and amazing.

Environment:

From the very first time you became aware of yourself, there has always been someone telling you what to do and how to do it – how to fit in and become a productive member of society. These instructions start with your parents, then move onto your teachers, your peers, your mentors, your colleagues, your friends, and ultimately society, in general, though the laws, rules and regulations.

What lessons do your parents drill into you from the very beginning:

  • Don’t hit
  • Learn to share
  • Give your brother/sister a hug
  • Say please and thank you
  • Respect and follow your elders etc. etc.

Time Out in the Corner Sucks - Awaiting Alchemy Now, these are all great lessons to learn but, what do they teach you about loving yourself and caring for yourself. Do they tell you to hug yourself? Do they tell you to be kind to yourself? Let’s be honest, the only time our parents allowed us to interact with ourselves was when they placed us in “time out” for being naughty and then self-love was far from our minds. Invariably we were fuming about losing, our play time and our toys, for a while which seemed like an age.

Our Head:   

Our inner voice is critical in denying us the love and respect we should be giving ourselves. Some people call it an inner voice, but I prefer the term, “ego”. [I have a section on the website, called “Inner Voice”check it out, here: – it’s full of tips on how to develop your Intuition.] The way I see the ego is this maniacal, little critter who lives inside our head. Its sole purpose in being, is to prevent us from being hurt. The easiest way to ensure that we never get hurt is to never allow us to do anything different – to never change. The Ego hates change – change is scary, dangerous and requires risk, everything the ego dislikes.

The Maniacal Creatue in our Head - Awakening Alchemy This is why, let’s say you see some new activity, sport, idea that you think would be brilliant, your ego immediately kicks into gear and reminds you just how “ordinary” you really are. The ego says things like: “sure, that looks like fun but remember the last time you tried something new… well, that was an abject failure wasn’t it?” It constantly seeks to remind us that we aren’t good enough and we genuinely think it is us that is saying it – it’s not.

 

“The ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image, it is your social mask, it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power because it lives in fear.”

Ram Dass

As if the rampant ego was not enough to cope with, we also have this lifetime (however old you might be at the time) of other people’s hurtful comments, opinions and suggestions about us that are slopping around in our gray matter reminding us that we are nothing special at all. Many of these opinions come from people we trust, people we believe in and they can easily be adopted as our own beliefs. Once they do become our own beliefs, and usually they are ones to your own detriment and unhappiness, it is incredibly easy to let them rule your decision making and never do things that are positive for your own physical and mental wellbeing.

How often have comments from others held us back from achieving the things we want to achieve? For example, when you make a decision to improve your physical health, get fitter, or diet – how often do those hurtful comments come back to haunt you? “Oh, you never manage to stick to those diets”; “The last time you bought a gym membership, how many times did you go? Twice was it?”; or the absolute classic – “Darling, I love you just the way you are, there’s no need to change for me.”

The point being, of course, that you aren’t changing anything for anyone else – you’re doing this for YOU but somehow, between your ego’s constant barrage of negative talk and everyone else’s well-meaning comments it’s very easy to accept the idea that there simply is no point in trying.

Our Motivations and Expectations:

Your Approval's Not Required - Awakening Alchemy Why is it that we are invariably our own harshest critics? We have this tendency to do things or take particular directions for all the wrong reasons; either we’re striving for something we’re not quite ready to achieve yet, or we’re seeking the approval of others. Often when we make a decision to improve our lives (self-love), we’re not motivated by what we want but rather by impressing others or from a sense of guilt (in the example of being overweight for instance). When our motivation is not driven by what we want, it is a lot easier to give up and add that to the impressive list of failures the ego will bring out to bombard you with next time you make a positive decision about yourself.

Instead of looking at guilt or others for your motivation look inward and ask yourself – “what do I really want?” Have a conversation with your “future self”. Ask him or her what it is they want and where they want to be, in one, five, ten-year’s-time. Your future self wants the best for you, and you want the best for your future self, so work it out between you. If you are striving to achieve something that YOU want, your chances of success are so much greater. Use your future self to make decisions based on love and care for you, instead of acting out of fear and guilt.

Six Simple Impediments to Self-Love:

  1. Putting other’s needs ahead of yours: Be it your boss, your partner, your children, your social network, everyone wants your time, your commitment and your emotional involvement.
  2. Letting the Negative Rule: You need to be thinking positively way more often. As soon as we allow negativity into our heads, the ego jumps with glee because it’s something he can use to sabotage your best intentions. Being grateful, as much as possible, is the best way to keep negativity at bay.
  3. Allowing fear to control you: Fear is useful, it keeps us alert and on edge, ready for anything but it is so easy to let the fear take over and destroy your hopes, dreams and desires, consigning you to the couch and to your regrets.
  4. It's A Spiritual Thing - Awakening Alchemy Not eating properly: Comfort foods are a temporary fix at best. Eating a well-balanced, healthy diet keeps you good not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
  5. Not making time for yourself: You have to give yourself time to relax, to heal, to simply chill out. That’s why meditation is such a cool way to go – it does that perfectly. Read my blog on meditation which was recently featured in the incredibly popular magazine, “Mom’s Favorite Reads”, here:
  6. Forgetting that “today” is not all there is: It’s really easy to get stuck in the miasma of day-to-day life and forget that tomorrow is coming – a new day full of, as yet, unrealized possibilities. One of my favorite sayings when I feel stuck, overwhelmed and unable to think beyond the current problem, is; “this too shall pass”. Trust me, it will.

Next week, I’ll go into more depth, with some practical steps on how to achieve self-love, but I hope today I’ve given you some idea of the sort of things you need to be watching out for as you continue this journey of self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-love.

I’ll finish today with a quote from one of the people whose pronouncements have always been a great motivator for me; the late, lamented, Maya Angelou:

“We have to confront ourselves.  Do we like what we see in the mirror?  And, according to our light, according to our understanding, according to our courage, we will have to say yea or nay – and rise!”

 Dr. Maya Angelou

Look at Yourself and Love Yourself - Awakening Alchemy  Next week, I’ll be looking at some practical ways to break down these barriers that keep you from self-love and as always, I’ll be reminding you to LOVE YOURSELF because you absolutely deserve it – you are a unique and beautiful human being.

If you enjoyed this Blog and would like to read more spiritual and metaphysical issues plus lots more besides, please do join our website and you will receive a notice whenever a new blog is posted, as well as special promotions and the opportunity to win prizes. We will never spam you, though. You can join here:

If you liked what you read here, please do check out our previous blogs. The last four can be found here:

You may also wish to avail yourself of our fantastic FREE report: 3 Proven Ways to Pull More Prosperity to You in 30 Days. You can grab your copy of this here:

Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:

Mix All the Ingredients Well - Awakening Alchemy

Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light

Why Is Self-Love Important? Banner - Awakenoing Alchemy

Welcome back to a new month. We hope you enjoyed our voyage of discovery into the amazing world of crystals last month. This month we will be tackling an incredibly important and fascinating subject in our mental, physical and spiritual development and growth as individuals – that of self-love. We will look at defining self-love and its importance to our lives. We will also look at some of the impediments to successful self-love and how to overcome them, plus we will touch on some practical steps you can put in place to achieve a satisfactory level of self-love and finally we will look at self-love as a “way of life”, particularly as how it applies to “new thought” doctrines.

What is Self-Love?

Perhaps it’s best if we start by defining what self-love is NOT:

Self-love is NOT narcissism and self-love is NOT arrogance, NOR overbearing pride.

Shadow Woman Making Herat With Her Hands - Awakening Alchemy Self-love is analogous to self-care and many people prefer to use the term self-care precisely because of those negative connotations that are sometimes ascribed to the term, self-love. However, whatever you call it self-love can best be summed up in the following affirmation: “self-love is the understanding and belief that I am a unique human being with talents and abilities that nobody who has ever lived or will ever live, possesses. I am worthy of love, I am worthy of respect and I am the equal of any person, anywhere.”

That definition may sound a bit daunting to those of us who suffer from self-doubt or consider ourselves innately shy and reticent but trust me – “you are an incredible human being who is blessed and talented”. We all are, which is why self-love is important to our own self-esteem and beliefs.

If you have doubts – well, let’s just listen, for a minute, to some of the greatest leaders, teachers and visionaries who ever walked the earth and really absorb what they are saying about YOU:

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

Buddha (Leader of Buddhism)

 

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Lecturer, Essayist & Philosopher)

 

“If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.”

Wayne Dyer (New Thought Author)

 

“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You only have to come to it, to realise it.”

Osho Rajneesh (Indian Spiritual Leader)

 

Maya Angelou Quote: Love Liberates - Awakening Alchemy “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.”

Maya Angelou (American poet, writer and activist)

 

 

For me, personally, the whole concept of self-love is perfectly encapsulated in a quote from Rhonda Byrne in her seminal work, The Secret:

“Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others … love yourself and you will be loved.”

Why is Self-Love Important:  

As each year passes, life it seems gets busier and busier. We live in the age of technology, of labour-saving devices, of instant communication and yet, somehow, we seem to have less and less time to devote to the most important thing in our lives – ourselves. How many of you reading this are nodding your heads, sagely and thinking, “yep, you got that right, for sure”. Whether it is our work, our partner, our children, our community groups, our commitments to others, we seem to have little or no ability to spend time with ourselves and more importantly, time to love and pamper ourselves.

Quote: Love Is All You Need - Awakening Alchemy Self-love, or self-care, if you prefer, is critical to our physical, mental and spiritual health and yet we invariably CHOOSE to put it at the bottom of our priority list. Why is that? Are we not important enough to put ourselves at the top of our priority list? The truth is – many of us think we are not and I’ll go into why that is so and how to overcome these impediments in our next blog on this topic, however, for now it is important to understand that we are the ones making the CHOICE to ignore our own needs for the needs of others – we are the ones who control our own lives and yet we choose not to and do so at our peril.

Even from the standpoint of putting others in our lives first, self-love is critical. How can we be effective and helpful to our employers, our family, our partner and everyone else in our life if we neglect our own health and well-being? Not taking care of ourselves leaves us depleted, ineffective and lacking energy. What good are we to others in that condition? When we are physically, mentally or spiritually exhausted we struggle to keep our relationships fresh, healthy and vibrant. Over time this will chip away at our self-esteem and confidence.

Simply put, self-love means accepting who you are, completely and fully, always aware that you are a unique, vibrant and special human being who has much to offer to the world. By treating yourself with kindness and respect, you truly will begin to grow, mature and develop that self-esteem and confidence you always dreamed of having. People with confidence and self-esteem don’t get given it by others, it comes from within – the power is inside of you.

What many people fail to grasp about self-love is that it isn’t just about “pampering” yourself – taking yourself out for a treat or giving yourself a bonus (although those are good things in their own right), no, self-love goes much deeper than the surface and deeper than those things of this world. Self-love encompasses what you think about yourself – your thoughts and beliefs about who you are and what you are. If you are continually complaining to yourself about your body shape, or comparing yourself, detrimentally, to others, you are not practicing self-love. When someone “burns” you with a nasty comment about your body, your looks, your intelligence, your work performance, or just your mere existence as a human being – it hurts, right? It damages you, right? Well it shouldn’t and here’s why: What anyone thinks or says about you is irrelevant – it’s just their opinion and you shouldn’t give a toss about what they think of you. The only thing that really matters is what you think of yourself.

Picture of Former First Lady: Eleanor Roosevelt - Awakening Alchemy “No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt (American First Lady)

Loving yourself and believing in yourself doesn’t mean you will always feel positive about yourself. We all have self-doubts creeping in from time to time as that pernicious little gremlin in our heads (our ego) keeps reminding us of our past failures and our past beliefs. No, feeling temporarily angry, upset, or disappointed with yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself anymore. I mean, you get angry with your children or your partner from time to time but do you stop loving them? Of course not! And the same applies to yourself. What we need to do is to cultivate an environment and a meticulous habit of loving ourselves.

The Mental-Health Benefits of Self-Love:

We live in a fast-paced world that often seems scary and out of control. It is so easy to allow ourselves to be sucked into the vortex of despair and fear that the events around us seem to be conspiring to create. Our mental health can suffer dramatically because of this – we only need to look at the suicide and attempted suicide rates worldwide to realise that, for many, this world has simply become too hard for them to cope with.

World Health Organisation Logo - Awakening Alchemy The World Health Organisation presents us with some incredibly sobering statistics: They estimate that approximately one million people commit suicide every single year – that’s a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds – horrifying, isn’t it? Worse, they predict that by 2020 it will be one death every 20 seconds.

  • In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide.
  • Suicide is now one of the top three leading cause of death for both sexes aged: 15-44.
  • Suicide attempts are estimated at 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.
  • Mental health disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all suicide cases.

As a world-wide society we are becoming sicker and the reason, to me, is fairly obvious: As a people, in the pursuit of some overarching societal expectations and goals, we have completely forgotten to love ourselves first and foremost and to follow our own dreams, goals and desires. Simply put – we’ve forgotten to “follow our bliss”. (Much more about this in later blogs)

Simple Practical Steps to Achieve Self-Love:

(I’ll go into this in much greater detail in Blog Three of this series, but for now, I’ll just give you some food for thought on how you can begin this journey to self-love).

  • Silhouette of Two People Jumping For Joy at Sunset -  Awakening Alchemy Say positive things to yourself (“I am unique – I am amazing”)
  • Forgive yourself if you mess up (We all mess up – we shouldn’t unduly berate ourselves over it)
  • Prioritize your own health and well-being (Put your own oxygen mask on first)
  • Don’t let others take advantage of you (Your time is as precious as theirs)
  • Don’t let people denigrate you (Don’t respond – just laugh and walk away)
  • Spend time around positive, supportive people (You are the sum of your five best friends)
  • Ask for help, if you need it (It’s not weak to ask for help – it’s strong)
  • If you hurt someone – apologise (An apology is NEVER a sign of weakness)
  • Let go of anger and never hold a grudge (Anger hurts you – never the person you are angry at!)
  • Treat yourself occasionally (especially healthy treats – you deserve them!)
  • Accept that you are not perfect and love yourself anyway

I’ll finish today with one of the best quotes I know to sum up this whole area of self-love, self-care, self-belief, and self-esteem. It’s a quote from Richard P Feynman, an American theoretical physicist who was part of the Manhattan Project which developed the first nuclear bomb.

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” 

Next week we will look, in much more depth, at the impediments to self-love. What stops us from achieving what I hope you will now agree is an important level – the ability to love ourselves, in all our uniqueness and all our flaws? You won’t want to miss that.

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Finally, today, please do pop on over to the section of my website that highlights my Visionary Fiction “whodunit” mystery, Spirit of Prophecy, which incorporates many of the ideas and philosophies discussed in my blog into a fast-paced, fictional, thriller. I know you’ll enjoy it. You can find that here:

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Till Next Time I’m Sending: Peace and Light